Some Good Ones
1. Private Benjamin
Goldie Hawn stars as a woman who joins the military after the death of her husband. It has a lot to say about living life on your own terms, and about freeing yourself from destructive relationships.
2. Ordinary People
Robert Redford directed Donald Sutherland and Mary Tyler Moore in this story about a family trying to cope with the loss of a loved one. The cast is great, and that scene of Moore in her bedroom is some of the best acting ever. Redford deserved the Oscar he won that year.
3. Altered States (?)
I put a question mark next to this one because I'm still not sure if it's simply good, or so bad it's good. A lot of the dialogue is ridiculous, but that's a given in any Paddy Chayefsky film. William Hurt does a great mad scientist, and Blair Brown is his suitably overwrought wife.
4. Heaven's Gate
It's fashionable to hate on this movie, especially considering the fact that it's one of the biggest box office bombs of all time, but I think there's a lot to like about the Criterion version. Sure, it's slow-moving, and no, it's not cool to blow horses up with dynamite, but it's full of great performances and the cinematography is first-rate. If you liked Days of Heaven, you'll find a lot to appreciate in Heaven's Gate.
5. Atlantic City
This movie was nominated for all the big Academy Awards - and won none of them. Susan Sarandon stars as a woman trying to disentangle herself from a manipulative husband, and Burt Lancaster stars as a small-time crook who stumbles across a big score. Very French in its way, without being annoyingly arty.
6. The Jazz Singer
Like Heaven's Gate, another box office bomb that has some redeeming features. Definitely super cheesy with a generous helping of plot holes, but it's one of those movies that inhabits a gray area between "good," "bad," and "so bad it's good." Dude, that song "America" will get you PUMPED.
7. Saturn 3
An evil robot terrorizes two researchers on one of Saturn's moons. This movie isn't awesome, but it's not that bad either. Aside from the novelty of seeing Kirk Douglas, Farah Fawcett and Harvey Keitel (!) in the same film, it's also interesting to see another sci-fi/horror spectacle from around the same time as Ridley Scott's Alien. The two movies were done on similar budgets and share the same kind of claustrophobia.
Fun Fact: Director Stanley Donen had a long career in Hollywood prior to Saturn 3. He directed Singin in the Rain, the original Bedazzled and many other films.
8. Maniac
A killer stalks the streets of New York. This is one of the truly classic slasher movies, highlighted by a breakout performance by co-writer and star Joe Spinell, who'd been kicking around Hollywood for quite a while up to that point. The 2012 remake is, by the way, excellent.
9. The Mirror Crack'd
Angela Lansbury stars as Agatha Christie's Miss Marple in this murder mystery centered around the pre-production of a film in England. It's fairly by the numbers, but it'll remind you why Elizabeth Taylor was such a commanding presence in the 60s.
Fun Fact 1: There are several Bond connections in this film. Director Guy Hamilton directed several Bond installments, Charles Gray played Blofeld in Diamonds Are Forever, and an extremely young Pierce Brosnan appears briefly in a scene featuring Elizabeth Taylor.
Fun Fact 2: The Mirror Crack'd was a financial disappointment, but Angela Lansbury would feature in the TV show Murder, She Wrote four years later.
10. Dressed to Kill
Bonus points for Nancy Allen. Double bonus points for Keith Gordon, who'd go on to star in John Carpenter's Christine a few years later.
I guessed the ending early on, and some of the scenes in this Brian De Palma picture are unintentionally hilarious, but those two facts only added to the fun. I highly recommend the unrated version. I wouldn't say it's as good as some of De Palma's other movies, and there might be something to the "transphobic argument," but it's definitely one of the best films of 1980.
Fun Fact: Sean Connery almost starred in this.
The Most OK Movie I've Seen In a While
1. Used Cars
Kurt Russell stars as an unscrupulous car salesman aiming at political office. Robert Zemeckis co-wrote and directed this movie, and it does seem anticipate a few 80s movie trends, but the humor in it hasn't aged that well.
Fun Fact: Seeing Michael McKean and David Lander together ring any bells? They played Lenny and Squiggy on the Laverne & Shirley TV show.
1. Xanadu
I had a hell of a time finishing this movie. There's almost no plot, and some of the dialogue ranks as the worst ever. Olivia Newton-John was bearable in Grease, but in Xanadu she's unbearable.
2. Smokey and the Bandit Part II
I freaking loved the first Smokey and the Bandit, but the sequel is BAD. It also makes you feel sorry for Sally Field, who won the Best Actress Oscar the year before for Norma Rae. Apparently this movie and Cannonball Run (below) were filmed at the same time.
3. 9 to 5
This movie was (of course) a huge success in 1980, dealing as it does with gender roles in the workplace. My trouble with it is that it's a comedy, and that it's just not funny anymore. I think movies like Mr. Mom and Tootsie did a MUCH better job with similar subject matter, and they're still funny.
4. Melvin and Howard
I believe this was Jonathan Demme's first big success. Mary Steenburgen won the Oscar for her role as Melvin's wife, and it received a lot of praise at the time. But as with 9 to 5, its humor hasn't aged well and the characters are hard to relate to.
5. Stir Crazy
The first half of this movie is funny, but after that it gets bogged down in a prison escape subplot. Who cares how they escape the prison rodeo? Isn't this supposed to be a comedy?
6. The Unseen
To be fair, Barbara Bach had a great ass, and there's a long, lingering shot of it in the beginning of this movie. Stephen Furst was also a genuinely creepy "monster," but the rest of this movie is strictly B-grade horror. You can, by the way, see the whole thing on YouTube.
7. Gloria
As much as I loved A Woman Under the Influence, I just couldn't get into this movie. Some of the plot elements are incredibly unrealistic, and the kid Gena Rowlands rescues is the worst actor ever - so bad that his performance brings you right out of the movie. "I am the man! I am the man!" Argh. Gloria and Atlantic City might have been neck and neck at the 1980 Academy Awards, but Atlantic City is a much better movie all around.
Some Bad Ones
1. Xanadu
I had a hell of a time finishing this movie. There's almost no plot, and some of the dialogue ranks as the worst ever. Olivia Newton-John was bearable in Grease, but in Xanadu she's unbearable.
2. Smokey and the Bandit Part II
I freaking loved the first Smokey and the Bandit, but the sequel is BAD. It also makes you feel sorry for Sally Field, who won the Best Actress Oscar the year before for Norma Rae. Apparently this movie and Cannonball Run (below) were filmed at the same time.
3. 9 to 5
This movie was (of course) a huge success in 1980, dealing as it does with gender roles in the workplace. My trouble with it is that it's a comedy, and that it's just not funny anymore. I think movies like Mr. Mom and Tootsie did a MUCH better job with similar subject matter, and they're still funny.
4. Melvin and Howard
I believe this was Jonathan Demme's first big success. Mary Steenburgen won the Oscar for her role as Melvin's wife, and it received a lot of praise at the time. But as with 9 to 5, its humor hasn't aged well and the characters are hard to relate to.
5. Stir Crazy
The first half of this movie is funny, but after that it gets bogged down in a prison escape subplot. Who cares how they escape the prison rodeo? Isn't this supposed to be a comedy?
6. The Unseen
To be fair, Barbara Bach had a great ass, and there's a long, lingering shot of it in the beginning of this movie. Stephen Furst was also a genuinely creepy "monster," but the rest of this movie is strictly B-grade horror. You can, by the way, see the whole thing on YouTube.
7. Gloria
As much as I loved A Woman Under the Influence, I just couldn't get into this movie. Some of the plot elements are incredibly unrealistic, and the kid Gena Rowlands rescues is the worst actor ever - so bad that his performance brings you right out of the movie. "I am the man! I am the man!" Argh. Gloria and Atlantic City might have been neck and neck at the 1980 Academy Awards, but Atlantic City is a much better movie all around.
8. The Private Eyes
Don't blame Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly too much for Holmes and Watson. Yes, it was a dumpster fire, but Don Knotts and Tim Conway were there decades before in The Private Eyes. In tone it resembles an episode of the Scooby Doo cartoon, in which Knotts' likeness appeared several times. It's not terrible, but it sure hasn't aged well. Those interested in zany murder mysteries would be better served by Clue.
Fun Fact: Don Knotts was still filming Three's Company at the time. That show would air until 1984.
Pure Agony
1. The Stunt Man
Critics at the time loved it, and it enjoys a cult following, but I couldn't stand it. Peter O'Toole orates from on high, a Vietnam vet wallows in a kind of innocence, and Barbara Hershey isn't so much there to act as to be gazed at.
1. Can't Stop the Music
The movie that helped kill disco and also end many movie careers. Valerie Perrine stars as a model, Steve Guttenberg costars as a DJ, and the Village People provide a reason for this movie's existence. People are really too hard on this movie, but it never took itself that seriously anyway.
2. Cannonball Run
Roger Moore is the best part of this movie, but there's enough silliness to make all of the characters endearing. Is it an enduring piece of film history? Hell no. But if you feel nostalgic for the 80s this is the movie you want to see.
3. The Exterminator
A Vietnam vet vs. evil marijuana growers in California! It's chock full of bad acting, nonsensical plot points, and super low-budget special effects.
Some That Are So Bad They're Good
1. Can't Stop the Music
The movie that helped kill disco and also end many movie careers. Valerie Perrine stars as a model, Steve Guttenberg costars as a DJ, and the Village People provide a reason for this movie's existence. People are really too hard on this movie, but it never took itself that seriously anyway.
2. Cannonball Run
Roger Moore is the best part of this movie, but there's enough silliness to make all of the characters endearing. Is it an enduring piece of film history? Hell no. But if you feel nostalgic for the 80s this is the movie you want to see.
3. The Exterminator
A Vietnam vet vs. evil marijuana growers in California! It's chock full of bad acting, nonsensical plot points, and super low-budget special effects.
Porn
1. Taboo
"Good guys always get laid last."
Judging only by the title, I figured this was another run-of-the-mill Asian-themed porn, but no, it's about another taboo, incest.
In the course of the movie a son develops feelings for his mother, a mother develops feelings for her son, and you can guess what happens near the end of the film. The actress involved is very hot, and the sex is very convincing, and for these two reasons this movie is considered "classic."
And no, of course the actress who plays the mother and the actor who plays her son aren't really related, so if your moral outrage is building you might take that into consideration.
Also, to clear the air a bit, the concept of mother/son incest does nothing for me. Given the current prevalence of "step porn" however, the concept of incest obviously does something for many other people, and in this respect Taboo could be seen as ahead of its time.
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