Kamen Rider 1 (1971- 1979)

I would have been all over this show when I was little.  Unfortunately I grew up in the States, and Kamen Rider wasn't really a thing over there.

After Ultraman's (temporary) fading from the public consciousness in the late 60s, Kamen Rider represented a newer kind of tokusatsu,  tokusatsu being a genre of effects-heavy TV shows dominating Japanese television at the time.

What you see below is a discussion of the earliest 12 episodes available on YouTube.  This show had a long run on Japanese TV, and the episodes below represent only a fraction of it.

Kamen Rider (1971-1973) : Episode 1

Takeshi Hongo, one of countless "70s motorcycle dudes" gets kidnapped by Shocker, a worldwide terrorist organization which changes him into a cyborg.

This show has a lot more kung fu fighting than Ultraman, which is also in keeping with the time.  The women in it are a lot more attractive than what you'll find in Ultraman as well.  Nothing against Akiko, who is definitely the cutest member of the Science Patrol, but she seems a lot more remote and hard to relate to than the women of Kamen Rider.

That said, Kamen Rider makes about as much sense as Ultraman - maybe even less so.  The various members of Shocker appear and disappear, reemphasizing a spider/insect theme, but very little is resolved in the first episode.  They don't even bother to explain why Kamen Rider and his motorcycle are able to transform.

Kamen Rider (1971-1973) : Episode 2

Kamen Rider battles the Bat-Man, a batlike creature that infects his victims with a virus for which only he has an antidote.

By this point the professor's daughter finally realizes that Hongo didn't kill her father.  Took her long enough!

One thing Kamen Rider had over the Ultraman show is that it had a manga to draw from.  This meant that story elements carried over into subsequent episodes, making the show a lot more engaging in terms of narrative structure.  Ultraman's predictable silliness is one of its strong points, but after a while it can seem repetitive.  There's slightly more story in Kamen Rider to hold the viewer's attention.

 Kamen Rider (1971-1973) : Episode 3

Continuing the bug theme established in episode one, this episode introduces the evil Scorpion Man, a guy who - freakily enough - is able to unleash an army of man-eating scorpions against his opponents.

Never mind that the "poison" sprayed from the tails of these scorpions melts its human prey instantly.  Man eating?  What's left to eat?

Kamen Rider V3 (1973-1974) : Episode 1

There's no second season on YouTube.  Instead we skip to the third season, which was Kamen Rider V3.

This season retains Hongo from season 1, with the addition of another rider who is, I assume, the star of season 2.  Hongo plays a mentor to the new rider, cyborging him up after yet another botched assassination attempt by the bad guys.

Shocker seems to have been dispatched by this point.  In V3 they're replaced by Destron, a rather Catholic organization also bent on world domination.

Zooka, the bazooka-wielding turtle, and Scissors, the pincer-wielding agents of Destron, outshine the season 1 foes in terms of sheer ridiculousness.  Scissors is also more coldblooded than previous foes, killing V3's entire family before his eyes.

Kamen Rider V3 (1973-1974) : Episode 2

Scissors is also a real d*ck.  He and his cronies are intent on blowing up Tokyo with a nuclear bomb, and to make matters more annoying he feels the need to yell "Scissors!" every time he appears.

V3 finally gets him in the end though, just before the riders from seasons 1 and 2 haul Zooka out into the ocean, where the nuclear bomb he was carrying detonates.  They swear they'll be back, but how?  Are they nuclear bomb-proof?

Kamen Rider X (1974) : Episode 1

Lower and lower budgets, but the weirdness seems to escalate and I'm loving it.  70s weirdness beats all other kinds of weirdness.

In Kamen Rider X we meet X Rider, yet another young man cyborged (or in this case "cyzorged") up by his father, some kind of biotechnology researcher.  His father - as one does - then uploads his consciousness into an undersea lair for his son's future use.

Kamen Rider X pursues a Greco-Roman theme.  X Rider's first opponent is Neptune, a sea-thing that spits deadly bubbles at our hero, and Neptune is followed by Panic, a rather limp-wristed enemy who wields a hypnotizing flute.

One obvious upgrade: this version of Kamen Rider can flip his entire bike, not just his body.  More flipping for your money!

Kamen Rider X (1974) : Episode 2

X Rider tries to figure out who his girlfriend really is while dealing with the whole flute thing.  I dunno man, it doesn't make a lot of sense.  By the end of this one his AI "dad" decides to blow himself up in order to teacher X Rider self-reliance (or something), and we learn that next episode's foe will be Hercules.

And oh yeah, the villainous organization in this season is GOD.  This makes for a lot of fun bits of dialogue in the English translation, phrases like "tomorrow we do battle with GOD in earnest" or "GOD must be defeated."  It's like a philosophical conversation at certain points, with Rider X convincing himself that he can either outmuscle or outsmart the deity.  Can he?  Stay tuned and find out in next week's episode!!

Kamen Rider Amazon (1974-1975) : Episode 1

I don't know what the writers of this season were smoking but I sure would like some.

This Kamen Rider's more like Tarzan.  He gets a blood transfusion (?) that gives him the ability to turn into a lizard (?).  After arriving in Japan (or maybe before that, in the Amazon) he has to contend with the Ten-Headed Demon, a villain who might remind you of the floating head from John Boorman's Zardoz.

Along the way Kamen Rider Amazon befriends a young boy and his two hot sisters.  The bad guys attack these new friends (of course), and the result is a thorough ass whooping administered by the new Kamen Rider.

Kamen Rider Amazon (1974-1975) : Episode 2

Kamen Rider Amazon fights Spider Beastman in episode 1, and in episode 2 he battles Vampire Bat Beastman, a loathsome character who feasts on human flesh.  Kamen Rider Amazon doesn't even kill this foe, instead allowing him to return to his base where the Ten-Headed Demon does the job himself.  A fitting reward for failure!

Kamen Rider Amazon is, I must say, my favorite Kamen Rider series/season by a mile.  It's weird, it makes almost no sense at all, and it's GREAT.  There were 24 episodes in this series, and providing I find them online later I'll be sure to watch the rest.

Kamen Rider Stronger (1975) : Episode 1

Our newest "electric human" is Kamen Rider Stronger, a badass dude with plenty of 70s attitude and bellbottoms to match.  This Kamen Rider comes equipped with a girl sidekick (or is it "sidechick?"), Electrowave Human Tackle, who comes dressed as a ladybug in a miniskirt.

Their enemies in this iteration are Black Satan, a criminal organization also - you guessed it - bent on world domination.

In episode 1 Black Satan tries to steal a hovercraft.  Why?  I have no idea!

Kamen Rider Stronger (1975) : Episode 2

Kamen Rider Stronger and Electowave Human Tackle stop Black Satan from commandeering a lighthouse.  And why did Black Satan want the lighthouse in the first place?  Again, I have no idea.

The villain in this one is a wolf thing that can turn itself into gas.  The wolf who smelled it, in other words, probably dealt it.   Oh, and in this episode we learn about Kamen Rider Stronger's origins, which make about as much sense as all the other Kamen Riders' origins.

Kamen Rider Skyrider (1979) : Episode 1

The Kamen Rider that can fly!  A bit strange how he can basically fly wherever he wants independent of both wind conditions or any source of propulsion... but whatever.

This version of Kamen Rider seems to have scaled back the weirdness a bit, which is either a plus or a minus depending on how weird you like your Kamen Riders.  The Mount Fuji of weirdness, if you will, is definitely Kamen Rider Amazon, and from Stronger onward things are (relatively) more beholden to the laws of physics and causation in general.

Shocker returns in this installment, by the way, rechristened Neo-Shocker after the humiliations suffered in prior seasons.

One has to wonder at these evil organizations bent on world domination.  They keep turning the exact wrong guys into cyborgs.  Maybe a more thorough interview process was in order?  Followed by a background check and psychological testing for evil?

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Thoughts on 1966-1967's Ultraman TV Show 1

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Thoughts on 1966-1967's Ultraman TV Show 1

First of all this sh*t is GREAT.  It's hokey as all hell, it was made at a time when special effects were strictly DIY, and it's full of countless WTF moments.  If you like old Godzilla movies you'll be all over this show.

Let's dive in, shall we?

1. Episode 1: Ultra Operation No. 1

Ultraman, the space policeman, crashes on Earth and decides to bond with a human being.  In this episode he battles Bemular, a monster he was taking to a "space graveyard."

Thing is, Bemular is the offended party here.  Thing's just chilling in a lake, not bothering anyone, and the Science Patrol attacks it without provocation.  The record will show that Bemular acted only in self-defense, and its force beams didn't even hit anything.  In my opinion it was just trying to scare the humans away.

At the end of this episode Ultraman throws Bemular back into the lake, though it's entirely unclear as to whether Bemular has been killed and/or defeated.  Hopefully it had time to recover from this humiliation.  I like to think that it did.

Fun Fact: "Bemular" was originally going to be Ultraman's name.  They were also thinking about calling him "Redman" before the show hit the air.

2. Episode 2: Shoot the Invader

Unlike Bemular this Alien Baltan is genuinely bad news.  He rolls up on Earth real quietlike and blasts unsuspecting humans with a freeze ray that turns them green.  NOT COOL, ALIEN BALTAN.

Then he's all like: "I got 2.3 billion MORE of me waiting up on the spaceship, which was formerly huge but is now the size of a bacteria (bacterium?).  Oh, and we're lowkey thinking about taking over the Earth."

Long story short: Ultraman and the Space Patrol ARE NOT HAVING IT.  Ultraman pushes the now regular-sized ship out of Earth's orbit, and I'm assuming that the ship's occupants, in desperate need of the "Spacium" only obtainable on Mars, later die slow, horrific deaths in the vastness of space.

This one's more slapstick than the other episodes discussed here, containing a humorous subplot involving a black eye.  One of the characters even stops to talk directly to the camera.

3. Episode 3: Science Patrol, Move Out!

This kid Hoshino-kun is precocious to the point of needing a spanking.  I realize that he's a stand-in for the show's audience, but as a member of the Science Patrol he's a serious liability.

In this episode Hoshino-kun wakes up Neronga, an invisible, electricity-consuming monster that's been sleeping under Edo Castle for a couple centuries.  Neronga looks a little like the "mind bugs" from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, but other than that he's unremarkable.  Hoshino-kun actually manages to blind Neronga in one eye before Ultraman shows up, but then, being the dumbass he is, he falls down and knocks himself out.

4. Episode 4: Five Seconds Before the Explosion

So... they were flying nuclear weapons to Jupiter to "develop" it?  In what way?  I don't think six nuclear bombs, however big they were, were going to put much of a dent in Jupiter.

And hold up -- there was a race of "underwater primitive humans" that the Science Patrol was aware of the whole time?  

Anyway, Ragon is one of the cuter Ultraman foes.  It's only too bad they couldn't find music he liked.  Maybe next time try the Beach Boys?  Or the Surfaris?  Or the Beatles hit song "Yellow Submarine," which also appeared in 1966?

5. Episode 5: The Secret of the Miroganda

Laziest attempt at a monster ever.  It's basically a big piece of carpet they cut a hole into.  The carpet mouth sprays poison (?) onto people.  I'm sure Japanese toy companies, being the completists that they are, have manufactured a Miroganda figure/model at some point, but I doubt that many kids (or adults) have bothered to buy it.

6. Episode 6: The Coast Guard Command

Ultraman pits his might against Guesra, a mutated Brazilian lizard with a love of cacao beans.  Yes, you read that right.

And into the bargain there's "Diamond-Kick," a diamond smuggler who tries to kidnap Hoshino-kun and his young associates.  I'm assuming Diamond-Kick didn't survive Guesra's attack on the warehouse.  The Science Patrol never seems to investigate monster attack sites for survivors.

7. Episode 7: The Blue Stone of Baradhi

The Science Patrol has branches in other countries?  Japan, France, India and Turkey?  Kinda wish someone in Turkey or India had jumped on this.  An Indian or Turkish version of Ultraman would have been awesome.

The map one of the Science Patrol members points to puts the "Ancient City of Baradhi" in north Iran, not far from that country's border with Turkey.  This lines up with their sighting of Mount Ararat, the place where Noah's Ark came to rest, in the distance.  The ancient city's psychic princess claims that Baradhi was once a famous trading post along the Silk Road, and given its location this might have well been the case.

There is of course no "Baradhi" on Google Maps, and searches of "Baradhi" on other sites only led me back to Ultraman.  It was an amusing wild goose chase nonetheless.

Plot Twist: Just before Antlar the giant beetle attacks, the Science Patrol visits the "Temple of Noah" inside the ancient city.  And what does their god Noah resemble?  Ultraman!  Hayata, for whatever reason, states that the statue represents one of Ultraman's ancestors.

The biblical connotations of this episode are truly profound, and would shake Western civilization to its very foundations were it not for the fact that biblical scholars don't bother to watch Ultraman.

8. Episode 8: The Monster Anarchy Zone

For some reason volcanism has turned nature upside down on an isolated Japanese island, and the result is... monsters!

Most of the monsters in this one don't even have names.  Ultraman comes in and handles sh*t as usual, and at the end there's a lesson about... nature... or something.

Damn shame about that one friendly monster.  Thing gets crushed by rocks and no one even bothers to see if it's OK!

9. Episode 9: Lightning Operation

Gabora marginally disrupts a boy scout outing, and I'm not sure which is more alarming, Gabora or the tightness of the boy scouts' denim shorts.

And how did the Science Patrol get to that island in a car?  Wasn't the bridge out?!?!

10. Episode 10: The Mysterious Dinosaur Base

The Science Patrol is sent to investigate a lake with an overabundance of fish?  Really?  Doesn't Japan have a Fish and Wildlife Department or something like that?  The trip to Lake Kitayama seems a little below the Science Patrol's pay grade.

This episode is also another instance of Ultraman and the Science Patrol bothering a monster who would have otherwise kept to itself.  This Jirahs, like Bemular above, wasn't bothering anyone at the bottom of his particular lake, and if the Science Patrol hadn't intervened there wouldn't have been any trouble in the first place.

Jirahs is, by the way, a modified Godzilla costume.  They added a frill to the neck.  In the course of their fight Ultraman adds a splash more disrespect to the encounter by ripping off this frill and playing bullfighter with it.

11. Episode 11: The Rascal from Space

This is one of the weirder ones.  Some kids find a space rock that can turn into anything you wish for -  as long as you continue thinking about it.  Eventually someone steals the space rock and asks it to turn into a monster for "reasons," and after the monster giganticizes he gets knocked out and the monster doesn't automatically disappear.

Wave Monster Gango is one of the more ridiculous Ultraman foes, and that's saying a lot.  He seems less intent on wreaking havoc than just f*cking with Ultraman in general, and I appreciate his inability to take their battle seriously.

12. Episode 12: Cry of the Mummy

Mummy wakes up, shoots a few death rays here and there, and is killed by the Science Patrol before the episode's halfway over.  

But wait!  There's more!

Before the mummy's untimely (second) demise, he summons his dinosaur-bird friend from the tomb where he was discovered, and this dinosaur-bird friend commences to stomp sh*t.

Kinda felt sorry for this monster.  The Science Patrol blinds it before Ultraman shows up, and the whole encounter feels kind of cruel.  Yes, the monster was destroying a power plant and causing a ruckus, but blinding it felt like a step too far.

12 Down, and 27 More to Go!!  Here Comes Our Ultraman!!

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Smartphones, the Internet and the Future

Exhibit A: The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt (2024).  The author, a noted social psychologist, paints a grim picture of how smartphones, social media and "safetyism" is affecting our youth.  He recommends raising the online age of consent to the age of 16 from its present age of 13, not allowing children to own smartphones until the same age, and creating more opportunities for free play.  He also encourages parents, schools and governments to enact rules and laws that reflect children's physical, emotional and developmental needs in relation to emerging technologies.

Exhibit B: How to Save the Internet by Nick Clegg (2025).  The author, a former British politician and Meta employee, describes the threats to an "open internet," and how these same threats might be addressed.  He details previous government actions to circumscribe the internet, concerns over privacy, concerns over how the flow of data across borders threatens those in power, and strategies which might be employed by both Big Tech and national governments to ensure that the internet remains the valuable resource which it presently is.

My Thoughts: I liked Haidt's book and I agree with it completely.  It's well-researched and chimes with what I've observed as both a father of two girls and a teacher of younger children.  Haidt's book is, if a little dry, very concise and to the point.  We definitely need to give more thought to how the prevalence of screens and the popularity of platforms such as Instagram and Facebook are affecting our kids.  Dumping them in front of an iPad or a phone for hours might seem harmless, but this is actually far from the case.

I liked Clegg's book a lot less.  He makes some good points, but at times his idealism verges on whimsy.  He also spends a lot of time apologizing for Meta, a company he hangs much of his reputation on.  It isn't a good look.  Much of what's in this book was known to me already, and the sources he cites are very haphazard.  He even takes shots at Haidt's book in one chapter, though I think he largely mischaracterizes that other, better work.

Given its title, Clegg's book had two responsibilities, these being: 1) explain why the internet needs saving, and 2) explain how it can be saved.  I don't think that it accomplishes either task, though I do agree with many of the points its author makes.  

I often found myself wishing that Nick Clegg had removed himself from the arguments he makes a little more.  Too much of this book depends upon claims that he knows things simply because he worked at Meta.  It's too much like asking us to take certain bits of evidence on faith.  I have no reason to believe that he was informed of every study Meta ever performed, just as I have no reason to believe that he was always among those (or even informed by those) making decisions at that company.

Unlike Haidt, Clegg also takes forever to reach his points.  He tends to circle around ideas with words, never actually embracing them until far too many paragraphs, pages and even chapters have gone by.  He could have taken lessons from Haidt's more concise, more academically rigid approach.  More of what Clegg writes could be have also been backed up with (solid) research.  Personal anecdotes only go so far toward convincing the skeptical.

Critics have attacked Haidt for creating a "moral panic" along the lines of many such panics triggered by new technologies.  Yet despite these criticisms (which Clegg echoes), Haidt's work stands on its own and deserves the praise it has received.  Clegg's book, on the other hand, is shoddily done (perhaps even ghostwritten), and deserves to be passed over.  He (or his ghost writer) voices valid concerns for the future of the internet, but I'm sure that these concerns have been voiced better elsewhere.

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Still More 00s Movies 1: 2000-2002

I'll be adding to this as I go along.  Nice to be in the 2000s again by the way.  The 90s and all of its direct-to-VHS fare can be a slog.

1. The Cell (2000)

It's easy to dismiss this one as "The Matrix meets Silence of the Lambs," but the director put a lot of thought into the visuals and the story is both well-paced and absorbing.  

I miss this phase of Jennifer Lopez's career.  Around this time she was more focused on acting, and her music career, her modeling career, and her public image didn't factor so much into the equation.

Fun Fact: Matrix comparisons aside, a lot of this movie was inspired by 1984's Dreamscape.

2. Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)

I was surprised by how much I liked this movie.  Texas-born Renee Zellweger (who I often confuse with Reese Witherspoon), should have won an Oscar playing the lead, but oh well, she won an Oscar years later for Judy so I guess it doesn't matter now.  Hugh Grant and Colin Firth (another Oscar-winner) play stereotypical roles as Bridget Jones's competing suitors, but they do a lot with the parts they're given.

Fun Fact: Colin Firth also played "Mr. Darcy" in a TV adaptation of Jane Austin's novel, years before Bridget Jones entered production.

3. The Cat Returns (2002)

A high school student saves a cat's life with unexpected consequences in this Studio Ghibli production.  After some of the crushingly serious films reviewed in this entry this one was like a breath of fresh air.  I look forward to seeing more movies like it.

4. The Opportunists (2000)*

Christopher Walken stars as a safecracker forced by circumstance into one more job.  It's very low budget but I never felt bored by it.  The scenes between Walken and costar Cyndi Lauper are the highlight of the film.

5. Lakeboat (2000)

Life aboard the Seaway Queen, a freighter plying the waters between the U.S. and Canada.  Lakeboat was adapted from a David Mamet play, it very much feels like a David Mamet play, and even though I'm not a big fan of either David Mamet or plays I still found myself charmed by Lakeboat.  Some of the dialogue is surprisingly funny and Robert Forster is great as a man adrift in more ways than one.

6. The Gathering Storm (2002)

Albert Finney stars as Winston Churchill, leading an all-star British cast in this tale of Britain waking up to the reality of another world war.  It's on the slow side but worth the effort.

Fun Fact: Tom Hiddleston plays Churchill's son Randolph.  The Gathering Storm was his fourth TV movie.  He wouldn't appear on the big screen until 2007's Unrelated.

7. Prison Song (2001)

The lives of black men in and out of prison.  There are some great scenes in this movie, and also some great performances from the leads, but the songs are a puzzling inclusion and some of the minor players aren't up to the task.

Fun Fact 1: Snow is in this.  Anyone else remember Snow?

Fun Fact 2: Director Darnell Martin is, in fact, a lady.

8. Tart (2001)

A decent movie marred by a bad title and a misleading ad campaign.  Given the existence of Whore this ad campaign would have led people to the conclusion that Tart is about a "loose woman," when this is actually far from the case.  To the contrary, she's just another teenager trying to fit in with upper class peers.  It's not a bad movie, though the relationship between the protagonist and her mother could have been demonstrated a lot better.

Fun Fact 1: Anna Paquin dropped out of the lead role to do X-Men.

Fun Fact 2: Scott Thompson, of Kids in the Hall fame, appears in this as "Kenny."

9. Laguna (a.k.a. "Vendetta") (2001)

A very young Henry Cavill hides out in a Venetian hotel from the mobsters who killed his father.  This was Cavill's first movie, and his inexperience in front of the camera shows.  There's not much info on this movie online.

The love scene in the cupola, by the way, is RIDICULOUS.

10. Little Secrets (2001)

Evan Rachel Wood stars as an abnormally self-possessed teenager serving as the neighborhood child therapist.  None of the young people in this movie seem especially young, and certain plot elements are incredibly contrived, but it's a decent effort as Disney-adjacent films go.

11. Princess of Thieves (2001)

Keira Knightley plays Robin Hood's daughter in this lower budget Disney TV movie that tried and failed to ride 1991's Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves' coattails.  It's not bad so much as extremely derivative.  I'm guessing much of the budget went toward costumes, props and horses.

This movie is very early in Knightley's career.  Many consider her breakout role to be 2002's Bend It Like Beckham, and aside from a few brief appearances Princess of Thieves was her third feature film.

12. Jeepers Creepers (2001)

An inexplicably stupid pair of siblings try to evade a bat-like creature somewhere in Florida.  It was fun seeing Justin Long in this, but it never manages to generate any tension and his character's choices are completely mystifying from the moment the killer truck shows up.

Fun Fact: Eileen Brennan is in this movie for a second.

13. Cor, Blimey! (2000)

An intermittent love affair develops between an older actor and a much younger actress in this British TV movie.  The events depicted in this film reflect a real-life relationship between Sid James and Barbara Windsor, two cast members from the Carry On series.  I found the accents a bit difficult, but the performances are good and its bawdy humor still resonates.

14. Swept Away (2002)

Madonna ends up marooned on a Mediterranean island with a hot, bearded Italian.  Surprisingly enough Guy Ritchie directed this one, though it was an early effort and thus somewhat removed from the later movies that would truly cement his reputation.

Madonna isn't, by the way, the weak point of this movie.  The real weak point is the script.  It's a film that is trying to say something, but a film which can't quite get its point across.  The changes of heart Madonna's character experiences are completely unconvincing, and these parts of the story will probably remind you of other, better movies like Cast Away and Get Help.

15. Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

Reese Witherspoon returns home to the South to divorce an indecisive ex-husband.

Every single character in this movie, right down to Josh Lucas and his eminently punchable face, is annoying and deserves to die in a chemical fire.  Most grating of all is Witherspoon, who despite being a completely manipulative bitch somehow rediscovers true love at the movie's conclusion.

Josh Lucas' character should have respected himself more and Patrick Dempsey deserved better.  Even aside from all that, Sweet Home Alabama is a badly written movie populated by characters making inexplicable choices.

Fun Fact: Like Renee Zellweger (above), Reese Witherspoon also has a Best Actress Oscar to her credit.  Witherspoon's was for Walk the Line.

16. Get Carter (2000)

Sly Stallone stars as a Vegas tough guy back in town to solve the mystery of his estranged brother's murder.

It's an incredibly forgettable movie, and I wouldn't be surprised if I'd seen it before and somehow forgotten.  Stallone does his Stallone thing throughout, and while he's doing it you can't help but wonder "Why?" as the minutes tick by.

It's a remake of a 70s classic which featured Michael Caine, who also appears briefly in this updated version.  Just go watch the original -  it's miles better.

Fun Fact: Stallone is convinced, to this very day, that his version is better than the original.

17. The Animal (2001)

Rob Schneider gets animal powers and fights crime.  It's a movie that knows exactly what it is and who it's for.  In tone it's a few notches less manic than the Ace Ventura movies, though its relatively sedate pace is more a negative than a positive.  I didn't laugh, not even once, but at least it was over quickly.

A quarter of a century later a sequel is still in the works

18. Britannic (2000)

German saboteurs try (and possibly succeed) to sink a British hospital ship in this TV movie.  Bonus points for Jacqueline Bisset, but the dialogue is unconvincing and those responsible for the script don't seem to have understood the time period.

For the record my grandpa served in the Air Force during World War II, and yes, that was the subsequent world war, but still.  Espionage?  That wasn't a subject to be taken so lightly.

Fun Fact 1: Working this gig got the director his following job, helming Megiddo: The Omega Code 2.  That movie sounds so terrible I've GOT to see it.

Fun Fact 2: This film was largely an effort to cash in on Titanic's popularity.  The Britannic and the Titanic were sister ships.

19. Sacrifice (2000)

Michael Madsen stars as an escaped convict out to avenge his daughter's murder.  I have no idea what Madsen was like as a person, but as an actor he deserved better than this.  Then again, maybe it paid the bills between Quentin Tarantino movies.

R.I.P. Michael Madsen: he passed away last year.

20. The Right Temptation (2000)**

Rebecca DeMornay (or is it "DeHornay") stars with Dana Delaney (remember her?) and Kiefer Sutherland in this half-assed attempt at an erotic thriller.  Some of the dialogue in this one is TRULY cringeworthy, and worst of all are the flashbacks detailing DeMornay's troubled past.

Fun Fact: This movie was filmed in Utah!  I had no idea!

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*Wikipedia lists 1999 as the release date.  It's a British-American production, so it's possible that it came out a year earlier or later in either country.

**Wikipedia lists 2001 as the release date.

"Trilobites & Other Stories" by Breece D'J Pancake (1992)

"I walk until I see a stumblebum cut into a passage between two buildings.  He has got his heat in him and he is squared away.  I stop to watch this jake-legger try to spread out his papers for a bed, but the breeze through the passage keeps stirring his papers around.  It's funny to watch this scum chase papers, his old pins about ready to fold under him.  The missions won't let him in because he is full of heat, so this jake-legger has to chase his papers tonight.  Pretty soon all that exercise will make him puke up his heat, and I stand and grin and wait for this to happen, but my grin slips when I see her standing in the doorway."

If you haven't heard of Breece D'J Pancake I'm not surprised.  He took his own life at the ripe old age of 26, and only lived long enough to see a few of his short stories published in magazines such as The Atlantic.  He was a product of West Virginia.

He was trying, I suppose, to be the voice of both his home state and the small town he came from.  His fiction hearkens back to the history and geography of that region, and his stories reveal a measured love for small town people living small, thwarted lives.  His stories are populated by men's men doomed to failure, and by cunning women doing whatever they can to escape loneliness,  poverty or both.  Over them all hangs the agricultural toil experienced by generations, and also a burning desire to either flee from or flee back into this same mode of existence.

Overall I liked this story collection, though there are times when the author strays a little too close to Faulkner territory.  Of course it's hard to be a Southern author and avoid that comparison, but I think that for the most part he manages to do so.

My favorite story was "First Day of Winter," which details the struggle of a poor farmer living with infirm parents.  This story was excellent, and the stories in this collection that aren't excellent were at least very good.

Related Entries:

"The Shining" by Stephen King (1977)

"Four Friends" by Robyn Carr (2024)

"The Secret" by Lee and Andrew Child (2023)

"Lies and Weddings" by Kevin Kwan (2024)