For further background on the year in film, please refer to the Some Other Movies From 2013 entry.
The following things happened in 2013:
- It was the International Year of Quinoa, and no, I have no idea what that means.
- Over 200 people died in a nightclub fire in Brazil.
- American scientists printed an ear using a 3D printer, collagen and animal cultures.
- Two bombs were detonated at the Boston Marathon.
- The El Reno Tornado, the largest tornado ever recorded, killed several people in Oklahoma.
- Edward Snowden was granted asylum in Russia after disclosing details of a U.S. program of mass surveillance.
- Croatia joined the European Union.
- India launched its unmanned Mars Orbiter Mission.
- Noted movie critic Roger Ebert died.
Linked entries can be viewed in their entirety on YouTube.
Some Good Ones
1. The Croods
I doubt many of those reading this blog have seen 1981's Quest for Fire, but The Croods is like a better version of that. Where Quest for Fire was a serious (if implausible) exploration of man's origins, in The Croods they just took the idea of cavemen and ran with it. It'll remind you a lot of Ice Age, another Dreamworks property, but that's not a bad thing.
2. The Fault in Our Stars
I want to say this movie is excellent, but it's a little too predictable. Two teenagers diagnosed with different types of cancer fall in love, and despite impeccable acting the story devolves into melodrama at times. I would have liked to see their masks slip more. They seem too self-possessed throughout the film.
3. Begin Again
Kiera Knightley stars as an aspiring songwriter, with Mark Ruffalo as a record producer down on his luck. It's not bad, though I'm not sure why Knightley's character would have talked to Ruffalo's character in the first place. I did, however, like the ending.
Fun Fact: Knightley and director John Carney, whose career was largely predicated on the success of the earlier Once, did not get along during filming. During subsequent interviews he was very critical of her performance.
4. Red 2
In case you forgot what the first one was about, the Red franchise involves retired spies brought back into the fold after some world-shattering event. Willis and Malkovich are an engaging duo, and it's a solid action film similar to the first installment.
5. Commitment
A North Korean spy is caught between two groups vying for dominance in the South. I've gotten a bellyful of North/South politics from the Korean dramas my wife and younger daughter are addicted to, yet even so I enjoyed this more serious take on the subject.
Speaking of Koreans, director Kim Jee-woon also hails from South Korea. Aside from this movie he also directed I Saw the Devil, which enjoys a substantial cult following.
In The Last Stand Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as the sheriff of a small border town. At the time of release Johnny Knoxville's presence was heavily promoted, but he's not in that much of the movie. It's formulaic, it's extremely corny, but it works.
Christian, kid-friendly movie about an artifact that grants wishes. It's not The Goonies or anything, but I can't fault it for what it is. According to Wikipedia it was heavily altered after going through the film festival circuit. Several church groups purchased the film, and the "God-centric" framing narrative is a later addition.
Fun Fact: Mark Dacascos plays the villain.
Some Bad Ones
1. Warm Bodies
I know I wasn't supposed to take this movie 100% seriously, but they lost me somewhere. How is the young woman supposed to fall in love with the zombie? Wouldn't he smell bad? Wouldn't she smell bad? Wouldn't the fact that he ate her ex-boyfriend's brains be an obstacle to their relationship? Young women falling in love with hot vampires or werewolves I can get, but zombies seems like a bridge too far.
2. After Earth
The second I saw M. Night Shyamalan's name in the end credits this movie made a lot more sense. "General Cypher Raige," huh? Aliens that can smell fear? I can only hope that if we're ever invaded by a hostile extraterrestrial species they resemble the aliens in an M. Night Shyamalan movie. All we'd have to do is either not be afraid or stock up on bottled water.
This aside, three questions:
a. Why don't the suits insulate against the cold? I mean, wouldn't that be their primary purpose?
b. Why are the weapons so lame? Why don't they have guns in the future? Or projectile weapons of any kind?
c. How many actually good movies has Will Smith been in, exactly? I can think of a couple, but by and large? Out of all the films he's made I can't remember a lot of genuinely good ones.
Fun Fact: This movie was supposed to be the first in a trilogy that, of course, will never happen. Will Smith later referred to this movie as his "most painful failure."
3. Jack the Giant Slayer
Hey, it's Nicolas Hoult, last seen in Warm Bodies (above). In this one he teams up with director Bryan Singer for a retelling of the fairy tale. Honestly, who asked for this movie? Why did someone think it was a good idea? It's too scary for kids, and most adults will shake their heads over it.
Fun Fact: Warwick Davis appears briefly in the beginning.
4. Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters
Jack the Giant Slayer, Hansel and Gretel, Snow White and the Huntsman - in the early 2010s many fairy tale adaptations were foisted upon us. Thing is, I can't remember a single one of them being good. Hansel and Gretel enters the new genre with a wink and a nod, but it's not so much funny as embarrassing. I suppose if you enjoyed Army of Darkness you might give it a try, and actress Gemma Arterton sure is beautiful, but this movie wasn't doing anything for me.
Fun Fact 1: Tommy Wirkola, the director of this movie, also helmed Dead Snow. In 2014 he'd go on to direct Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead.
Fun Fact 2: This movie has a serious cult following. If you ask me, I'd say the director was overwhelmed by both the budget and the scale of a big studio picture, though other people find this movie's sense of humor appealing. Again, if you liked Army of Darkness you might give it a look.
5. The Call
Ah, Halle Berry. She's been in some good movies, but her record with thrillers like this is not awesome. In The Call Berry plays a 911 operator trying to foil the stupidest serial killer in the entire history of serial killers. "Female empowerment?" Only if the antagonist is a credible threat.
6. Antboy
Kid-friendly Spider-man knockoff from... Sweden? Norway? Somewhere Scandinavian? Wherever it's from, there's nothing for adults in it.
7. Run
Parkour. This movie is pretty much just parkour and nothing else. Eric Roberts is in it for a bit, but he probably just needed rent money that month. Eric Roberts is in many, many movies, and many of these many movies are not good.
Bad Enough to be Good
God-fearing Christians in Boise, Idaho (!) get on the wrong side of a global satanic conspiracy. No one in this movie is a good actor, a couple of them look like they've found Jesus after years in the porn industry, and the Christian beliefs espoused in this apocalyptic diatribe are never contradicted, not even by the satanists.
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