For further background on the year in film, please refer to the Some Other Movies From 2005 entry.
The following things happened in 2005:
- George W. Bush was inaugurated into his second term as President.
- North Korea announced that it had nuclear weapons.
- China ratified an anti-secession law aimed at Taiwan.
- YouTube was launched.
- A series of suicide bombings rocked London.
- Hurricane Katrina struck the U.S. Gulf Coast, killing over a thousand.
Linked entries can be viewed in their entirety on YouTube.
Excellent
1. V for Vendetta
Try re-watching this in 2021. Trump, the coronavirus, facism - it'll all come rushing back. Stories like this one will always be relevant, and the themes they explore will always be worries in our lives.
I've read parts of Alan Moore's comic book series, and while I'm not a fan I'll always admire his ambition. V for Vendetta was never for the masses; it was for a much smaller group of people.
The movie? A mark against it is its length. But if you break it into two parts it works very well, and the performances - particularly Natalie Portman's - are first rate. Adapting such a weighty story into cinematic form was never going to be easy, and I think that taken as a comic book adaptation this movie far surpasses many other films in that genre.
Fun Fact 1: Alan Moore, in typical fashion, declined to see this movie, declined credit for the story, and declined royalties due to him for it.
Fun Fact 2: Recognize John Hurt? He was the star of 1984's Nineteen Eighty-Four. Seeing him switch places for this movie is a lot of fun.
2. Kingdom of Heaven: The Director's Cut
I also saw Alexander: The Final Cut recently, and it was fun to compare the two movies.
I'm happy to say that Kingdom of Heaven: The Director's Cut is the movie I wanted to see in 2005. The attention to detail is mind-boggling, and with the restored scenes it describes a nice arc from the hero's humble origins to the defense of Jerusalem. It's worth watching for the siege at the end alone.
For me Orlando Bloom is the weakest part of the movie. Riding high off the success of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy, it made sense to cast him as the lead, but even so he lacks the charisma of a Mel Gibson or a Kevin Costner. One often feels that certain speeches he gives could have had a lot more weight if another actor had been delivering them. I'm willing to give him a pass however, since many of the movie's pivotal moments occur without him present.
Like Angelina Jolie in Alexander, the most memorable performance in this film is given by Eva Green, who steals every scene she's in. This, and Kingdom of Heaven knows exactly what kind of story it wants to tell, whereas Alexander was all over the place.
Fun Fact 1: William Monahan, the screenwriter, also wrote The Departed, Oblivion and Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For.
Fun Fact 2: That guy behind the mask? That's Edward Norton.
3. Transporter 2
Jason Statham defies the weak gravitational force acting on large, people-sized objects and embraces quantum indeterminacy in a series of fights that would be ludicrous if they weren't so brilliantly choreographed. I just hope his character celebrated by banging that kid's hot mom. You could tell she was dying for it.
Fun Fact: Louis Leterrier, the director, would go on to direct The Incredible Hulk and Clash of the Titans.
4. The New World
It's a Terrence Malick movie, so be prepared for countless shots of swaying trees and inner monologues that range from here to the horizon. It's SLOW, but if you're in the right mood it's a great movie about the Old World's first encounter with the New.
It's definitely the best performance Colin Farrell ever delivered. Yes, I've seen In Bruges, and no, I didn't like it that much. This movie? He's terrific in it, and it's a vast improvement over what he did in Alexander.
Q'orianka Kilcher, who plays Pocahontas in this movie, is BEAUTIFUL. Heartbreakingly beautiful. She manages to fill up every scene she's in, one minute joyously in love, the next minute on the brink of madness.
Fun Fact: The Powhatan language spoken by Pocahontas is extinct. A professor of linguistics had to reconstruct it for this film and then teach it to the cast members.
Fact Check: John Smith and Pocahontas probably never had a relationship. She was only 12 at the time they met. Many of John Rolfe and Pocahontas' descendants are alive today, and can be found on both sides of the Atlantic.
5. Junebug
A lot of great character actors in this movie, Amy Adams being the most famous among them. On one level Junebug tells the story of a son bringing his worldly wife back to Carolina, but in a larger context it tells a story of the urban encountering the rural, and old grudges encountering forgiveness.
Some Good Ones
1. Land of the Dead
George Romero returns to the genre he helped create. By 2004, however, Zack Snyder (and to some extent Danny Boyle) had ruined the more traditional, slow-moving zombies for most of us. Land of the Dead generates a decent amount of suspense, and John Leguizamo chews a whole lotta scenery, but overall this movie doesn't show us anything we haven't seen before. It's definitely way better than Survival of the Dead, but that's not saying much.
2. Hitch
Yes, some of Will Smith's lines are incredibly corny, but whoever wrote the screenplay had a good ear for dialogue. Smith stars as a guy who fixes up hopelessly in love guys with their ideal women, and, as you might expect, he crosses paths with his own Ms. Right in the process.
3. Me and You and Everyone We Know
I watch all these movies and then I see a movie like this, which comes straight of left field, and it feels refreshing. It feels as if the world is still full of possibilities, and that all of these possibilities are just waiting for the right person to come along and film them. Could this movie be accused of a certain level of pretension? Yeah, but this meditation on modern loneliness is a rewarding watch just the same.
4. Street Fight
Politics get dirty in this documentary about two politicians running for the office of Mayor of Newark, New Jersey. For those interested, Cory Booker was eventually elected to the office of mayor, and he's presently serving as a New Jersey senator. Sharpe James? He ended up doing prison time for fraud.
Some Bad Ones
1. Sahara
Matthew McConaughey tries and fails to do the action hero thing. This movie veers between Indiana Jones and 007, and the plot revolves around some incredibly unlikely occurrences. How probable is it that their Confederate ship would be located next door to the bad guy's solar power facility? How probable is it that they'd be able to escape the Malian military traveling up a river? Ah, whatever. It's not worth thinking about.
Just go watch Blood Diamond. It's better on so many levels.
2. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Director Scott Derrickson's second outing after Hellraiser: Inferno. I get why Laura Linney and Tom Wilkinson signed on to this project, but it could have used more exorcism and less courtroom drama. It's really, really boring.
Fun Fact: Derrickson's next movie will be the Labyrinth remake. He's only serving as Executive Producer on Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness.
3. The Great Raid
FUCK this movie is dull. This, and it doesn't know what story it's trying to tell. Is it trying to tell the story of American G.I.s rescuing POWS in the Philippines? Is it trying to tell the story of POWs banding together against their suicidal Japanese wardens? Is it trying to illustrate a love triangle between a POW and two nurses? Whatever story they were trying to tell, someone threw a lot of money at this production. There are some great shots in it, but they're not worth sitting through the movie for.
4. Brick
Joseph Gordon-Levitt sulks around in his winter coat while various high school classmates say cryptic things. It aspires to film noir but fails miserably. It was director Rian Johnson's first movie, and it enjoys a cult following. I couldn't stand it.
5. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
I can't fault the story. It could have worked. It's just that Anakin's switch to the Dark Side is never satisfactorily explained, and the whole movie - if not the entire franchise - hinges on that fateful decision.
What really kills this movie is the dialogue. Sure, Hayden Christensen is a terrible actor, but if the dialogue had been better that fact wouldn't have been so glaringly obvious. Natalie Portman has all the worst lines, and her scenes make your realize that George Lucas struggles mightily when talking about love, relationships or anything that's not mysticism and spaceships.
I agree with the critics that it's the best movie in the prequel trilogy - definitely much better than Attack of the Clones - but this great-looking bad movie still isn't very good. Watching Hayden Christensen almost burn to death is entertaining, but the rest of this movie really drags.
Just as Bad as You Knew it was Going to Be
1. The Pacifier
Vin Diesel pulls an Arnold Schwarzenegger and signs up for some kid-friendly fun. You'll accuse me of making this up, but in this Disney classic he plays a Navy S.E.A.L. entrusted with the care of several rambunctious children. What's that, you say? Kindergarten Cop? Perish the thought! Kindergarten Cop had Ivan Reitman at the helm. This movie has... Adam Shankman?
Wh-wh-why?: Vin Diesel has claimed that a sequel is "in the works."
Wh-wh-why? (2): Adam Shankman has directed a lot of bad movies. He also directed 2002's A Walk to Remember, which was even worse than The Pacifier.
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