Snail People, Rotting Robo-Sharks, and a Whole Lotta Penises

Not one, not two, but THREE weird graphic novels.  The quality of weirdness might be relative, but I think most will agree that these three are, indeed, weird... and not always in a good way.

Yeah, I think that relationship is pretty much over...

1. Gyo

This was the first I read, and for that reason it's hardest to remember.  As I recall a young Japanese couple visits an ocean resort, and then these weird marine animals start appearing.  The marine animals in question are actually dead, and this multi-legged, nanotechnological organism is somehow animating them and is, of course, up to no good.  The multi-legged, nanotechnological organism eventually works its way up to people, and when they're not infecting others with a multi-legged, nanotechnological virus they're expelling foul gases from various orifices.  I remember there being some kind of weird circus part at the end, and that the hero is sadly unable to rescue his girlfriend from her fate as a rotting, nanotechnologically animated corpse.  (So sad)

There's a great "bonus chapter" that has nothing to do with multi-legged, nanotechnological organisms.  People somewhere in Japan discover these human-shaped caves in the side of a mountain, and individuals throughout the area are inexplicably drawn to enter specific caves, where each of them is slowly elongated through some likewise unexplained process that draws them through the mountain to another, distorted cave on the other side.  Human Play-doh!  That sucks!

Try going to work with THAT on your face!

2. Uzumaki

Of the three weird comics discussed here, this is by far my favorite.  I'm not sure if "Uzumaki" translates into "spirals," but that's what this comic is about.  People get obsessed by spirals.  People TURN INTO spirals.  People also turn into snails (which have shells which have spirals).  Villages are reconfigured into spiral patterns.  And ultimately the last to survive visit an underground spiral world that was sitting right under their village the whole time.

Uzumaki is F*CKING GREAT.  Really, you should find a copy and read it as soon as possible.  Of course it's completely unscientific, and of course some of the things the characters do make no sense, but as an example of dream logic used in comic books it F*CKING WINS.  I'll probably go read it again later today.

Penises!  Vaginas!  It's all so deep, right?

3. Black Hole

This is the American, Eisner Award-winning version of weirdness.  It's the 70s, it's high school, and people are doing a lot of drugs and having a lot of sex.  The only trouble is that some of them may be passing around a virus that might be making them mutate in a variety of ways.  They grow little mouths on their necks, they develop horns, you get the picture.

Oh, and there are A LOT of penises in this comic book.  Breasts, too.  People spend a lot of time fantasizing about "getting away" - which makes sense because it's Seattle and it's raining all the time - but sometimes their dreams of "getting away" end in bizarre firearm-related altercations in the local KFC.

And you know the difference between Gyo, Uzumaki, and Black Hole?  Gyo and Uzumaki are fun, while Black Hole is the biggest pile of pretentious bullsh*t I've forced myself to read in a long time.  I get that readers of recent Image Comics titles* will probably RAVE over it, but f*ck man, Black Hole is some boring, repetitive sh*t.

F*CK the Eisner Awards too, by the way.  Those awards have been meaningless for years now.

Related Entries:

Ideas for DC Films

A Review of Every DC Movie from 2005 to the Present (Revised as of November 16, 2017)

Justice League!

"Flashpoint" by Geoff Johns and Andy Kubert (2011)

*Hey, I like Saga too.  And a few other Image titles besides.  But you'll have to admit they make a higher-than-average percentage of pretentious crap.