Some Other Movies From 2016 (2)

For further background on the year in film, please refer to the Some Other Movies From 2016 entry.

The following things happened in 2016:

• Several countries ended diplomatic relations with Iran.
• Tsai Ying-wen became the first female President of Taiwan.
• The United Kingdom voted on whether or not to leave the European Union.
• Pokemon Go was released.
• The Philippines won an arbitration case against China concerning China's "Nine-Dash Line" policy in the South China Sea.
• The Summer Olympics were held in Brazil.
• Donald Trump was elected President of the United States.
• David Bowie, Prince and George Michael died.

Linked entries were viewed on YouTube.

Underlined entries were viewed on Netflix.

Excellent

1. Your Name

Two young people find their lives intertwined in more ways than one.  The animation in this movie is beautiful, and the story is very original.  It might seem derivative in the beginning, but give it a half hour and you'll see what I mean.

Some Good Ones

1. Sing

Various animals enter a singing contest.  It doesn't have much of a plot, and at times it feels like they're trying to cram every hit song since the Beatles into two hours, but it's entertaining nonetheless.  A sequel is on the way in December.

2. Trolls 

OK.  I was really, really drunk when I watched this (a couple of beers + several vodka tonics), but to the best of my recollection the soundtrack is slammin' and parts of this movie are really funny.  Would I watch it again?  Yeah, totally.

3. Paterson

Adam Driver stars as a bus driver/poet in Paterson, New Jersey.  I wasn't loving director Jim Jarmusch's previous movie, Only Lovers Left Alive, and I also didn't love his following movie, The Dead Don't Die, but I thought this one was good in an understated way.  After watching Paterson I've seen all of Jarmusch's films, and I'd rank it second behind Ghost Dog.

Sad Fact: Driver's costar in this film, the beautiful Iranian actress Golshifteh Farahani, is forbidden from returning to her native country as a result of an appearance in the American film Body of Lies.  She presently resides in France.

4. Raw

Speaking of France, is veterinary school that different over there?  Whatever the case, this movie is a disturbing two hours, and I mean "disturbing" in the best way possible.  If you've seen movies like Martyrs or Inside you'll be ready for it.  If you haven't, you probably won't be.

Further Investigations: Director Julia Ducoumau's, most recent movie, Titane, came out this year.

5. Don't Breathe

Three burglars get more than they bargained for after breaking into an ex-serviceman's house.  It's cool to see Stephen Lang in a movie again, even if the burglars make some truly questionable choices in the course of the film.  And that aside, why would they assume that he'd have that much money, in cash, after the settlement?

Fun Fact: Fede Alvarez, the director of this movie, also directed the Evil Dead remake.

6. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

A young man attempts to catch 'em all in 1920s New York.  What's that, you say?  No, I'm not talking about Detective Pikachu.  Honestly though, I'd take the Pokemon universe any day of the week.  It's cuter.  It's more to the point.  It's easier to relate to.  This movie's OK, the world's fairly cohesive, and the ending's satisfying, but I'd much rather have another Pokemon movie.

Fun Fact: There will be a third Fantastic Beasts film next year.

7. Boyka: Undisputed

Scott Adkins fights another round in this sequel to Undisputed III: Redemption.  As action movies go it's very formulaic, but the story's solid and Adkins can hold his own as an actor.  To be honest, I admire the hell out of the guy.  Not only is he a skilled athlete, but he knows exactly what his skill set is - and that skill set is right there up on the screen.  Does this tale of Russian gangsters reinvent the wheel?  No, but it's entertaining nonetheless.

Some Bad Ones

1. Now You See Me 2

Implausible?  Most of this movie is pure impossibility.  Parts of it look cool, but don't think too hard about how some of those "tricks" actually work.  For me the worst part of this movie was the CGI playing card hand-off in the "secure facility."  Mark Ruffalo does his best to soldier through it, but you can tell he's out of his depth.

Try to Contain Your Excitement: There will probably be a third one.

2. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

Not so much bad as boring.  I fell asleep halfway through.  Sure, I was tired from work, but I'm not sure I could have kept my eyes open anyway.  In this one (as you'd expect) Alice and her aesthetically pleasing friends marginally disrupt zombie/monster gatherings everywhere, this time with an eye toward ending the zombie plague for good.  And of course this wasn't the final chapter.  Did anyone ever think otherwise?

Unsurprising Fact: The next installment will arrive in November.

Real-Life Horror: Milla Jovovich's stunt double suffered some horrific injuries on set, and another crew member was crushed to death under a Hummer.

3. Me Before You

Overacting, thy name is Emilia Clarke.  In Me Before You she falls in love with a quadraplegic, and that would be fine if her character wasn't so manipulative and self-consciously cute.  Nothing is quite as maddening as Emilia Clarke pretending to be the ugly duckling.  In fairness to this movie I did hate it slightly less than Last Christmas, but that's not saying much.

4. London Has Fallen

Gerard Butler saves the President from terrorists.  I saw the first installment, Olympus Has Fallen, and I'd have to say that this one isn't much better.  If you think about it... where was the U.S. military when all of this was going on?  And how many motorcycle-riding terrorists could the bad guys have recruited, anyway?

5. Game of Aces

I guess if you wanted to see what Chris "American Pie" Klein has been up to you could watch it.  It doesn't make a great deal of sense though.

Terrible.

6. 正宗哥吉拉 "The Real Godzilla"

I include the Chinese title because I'm not sure what the correct English title would be.  I watched this on Netflix, and because I was in Taiwan watching a Japanese movie there was no English title to refer to.

The only good thing I can say about this movie is that the "U.S. liaison" is very cute.  The rest of the movie involves long, long scenes of people discussing how they should react to Godzilla, what he/she/it might do next, and whether or not the Japanese bureaucracy is equipped to deal with the threat.  In the short term no; in the long term yes.

In other hands this movie could have been goofy fun, but "The Real Godzilla" is instead stupefyingly boring.  Come on, guys.  Give me something here.  A robot?  A team of sexy robot pilots?  More destruction?  Less talking?

So Bad It's Good

1. The Great Wall

I was laughing at this movie around the 10 minute mark.  It's SO preposterous, even when taken as a fable.  And why all the fuss about this "black powder?"  The recipe is easily explained, the ingredients are easily obtained in Europe, and Willem Dafoe's character has to know that carrying it back to Europe is completely unnecessary.

If nothing else the Chinese threw a lot of money at this movie, and all the money's up there, on the screen.  Matt Damon is solid in the lead role, and I get why he took the part ($$$ + the chance to work with Zhang Yimou) but yeah, it's preposterous.

Those criticizing this movie for having Matt Damon as its "white savior" might have missed the mark.  There are often two versions of American-Chinese co-productions, one edited for American audiences and another edited for audiences in Mainland China.  It could be that the version I saw was the one intended for Americans, and that Damon's role was reduced in favor of Andy Lau's character in China.  I have no way of knowing.

I will say, however, that this movie sits uncomfortably when considered from another racial standpoint, that of Han Chinese attitudes toward foreigners and minority groups.  Given that the true historical purpose of the Great Wall was to keep out northern, non-Han invaders, what does recasting these non-Han peoples as monsters say about present-day attitudes to minorities in China?  Sure, I could be accused of thinking too hard, but this movie, I think, invites those kind of comparisons.

Related Entries:

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Some Other Movies From 2013 (2)

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Some Other Movies From 2016

The top 5 highest-grossing films of 2016 were Captain America: Civil War, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Finding Dory, Zootopia, and John Favreau's live action version of The Jungle Book.  I doubt that many would dispute the sheer forgettability of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.  Five minutes after leaving the theater I had almost no memory of what I'd seen.

La La Land was hands-down the critical favorite that year.  I tried to get through this movie and couldn't.  If you like it, fine.  I just can't stand musicals.

In my opinion the Oscars of that year exhibited a serious disconnect between the Academy and the movie-going public.  Moonlight was a good film, but I don't think it deserved to win Best Picture.  Damien Chazelle is a good director (he also did Whiplash), but I don't think he deserved Best Director.  Casey Affleck for Best Actor (Manchester by the Sea) was a solid choice, as was Viola Davis for Best Supporting Actress (Fences), but I didn't get Emma Stone for Best Actress (La La Land again) and the way both Lion and Nocturnal Animals were ignored was a mystery to me.

The fact that the Academy has proposed a new Best Popular Film category only adds fuel to this fire.  Don't all films aspire to some kind of popularity?  Don't all films strive to find an audience?

My favorite films from that year were the above-mentioned Lion and Manchester by the Sea, and also Demolition, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (I know, I know...), Captain Fantastic, Hell or High Water, and The Founder.  I want to list Nocturnal Animals here too, but that movie's really hard to watch a second time and I think "re-watchability" is one of the things that separates good movies from great movies.

Some Good Ones

1. 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Don't let Michael Bay's involvement put you off too much, he does occasionally direct a good (if overblown) movie.  13 Hours is based on a real incident involving US military and intelligence personnel assaulted in Libya, and it's appropriately violent (if nothing else).  It has a 50% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes, which I think is a fair assessment of its quality.

2. Triple 9

Bank robbers at the mercy of the Russian mafia.  The script is great, the cast is great, and Woody Harrelson steals every scene he's in.  This movie's RT score was just a little higher than 13 Hours, and it does bear some similarities to Michael Mann's Heat, but I thought it was an excellent heist movie.

3. Criminal

"Wormhole to the dark web," huh?  Are all of the U.S. national defense agencies really hooked up to the Internet?  I hope not.  Because you know that if they are, the Russians have already hacked that shit a hundred times over.

And why no surveillance and the dead guy's wife's house?  Why not tap his phone?  Why not at least ask her to report if she seen him again?

Kevin Costner plays a psychopath carrying another man's memories.   The rest of the cast is a superhero movie all-star team.  Besides Superman's dad you've got Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones), Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman), Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), and even Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot).  Even Faora from Man of Steel (Antje Traue) makes an appearance.  Their collective screen presence manages to make this derivative spy thriller somewhat interesting, even if certain aspects of the plot don't bear thinking about.

When you think about it, this movie's like the inverse of Reynold's Self/Less, in which a richer older man has his memories implanted into a younger man's body.

4. Zero Days

Interesting documentary on the Stuxnet computer virus and where it probably originated.  Those watching this documentary might also want to look at the U.S. Cyber Command and Iran's nuclear program.  The movie Snowden also amplifies on some of the concerns and "defensive" applications mentioned in this documentary.  Oh, and Iran's nuclear program ONLY ACCELERATED after they discovered that infiltration had occurred.


5. Elle

Maybe we should all take another look at Starship Troopers and Showgirls.  Maybe there was something there we missed.  Maybe Paul Verhoeven was more subtle than we previously imagined?

Whatever the case, Verhoeven did a first-rate job directing Elle, the first of his movies I've seen in quite some time.  This French-language production centers around a woman coming to terms with her past and attempting to reconcile her various relationships.  It's on the slow side, but definitely worth watching.

Fun Fact #1: Isabelle Huppert made her American film debut way back in 1981, with the critically and commercially disastrous Heaven's Gate.

Fun Fact #2: This was originally going to be a Hollywood production, but Verhoeven found himself at odds with the "morality" put forth in mainstream Hollywood pictures.  He originally considered Jennifer Jason Leigh for the role, but ultimately decided that his vision would be better realized in France.

6. The Witch

I can't help but think that Anya Taylor-Joy has a long, storied career in movies ahead of her.  Her face consumes whatever frame she happens to be in, and she has enough acting ability to carry her through any movie.

In The Witch she plays a member of a Puritan family confronting evil in the wilds of New England.  It's a well-directed movie that manages to build up a mood without growing derivative.

7. The Free State of Jones

About half this movie's good, and the other half is an unqualified mess.  It starts out as the story of poor whites banding together against the predations of the Confederate army, but overreaches itself by attempting to address the larger issue of race relations in the South.  The subplot involving Jones' son is particularly confusing, and to some extent lessens the impact the earlier parts of the film might have had.

8. Genius

Colin Firth, Jude Law, and Nicole Kidman star in this movie about the relationship between Thomas Wolfe and his first editor.  It's a solid effort, but two things bothered me, these being: 1) the scene between Kidman and the editor's wife, which was a little too on the nose, and 2) the symbolic usage of Firth's hat, which seemed heavy-handed.

9. The Neon Demon

A young woman makes enemies in the Los Angeles modelling industry.  The minute I saw director Nicolas Winding Refn's (Drive, Only God Forgives) name in the opening credits I knew I'd like this film.  It requires patience, but if you have the time it's very rewarding.  In some respects it reminded me of David Cronenberg's Maps to the Stars, but this is a much purer, more streamlined film without the forced Greek tragedy.

Fun Fact #1: One of Refn's biggest inspirations was the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which he first viewed as a young boy.

Fun Fact #2: This movie was in part inspired by the life of Elizabeth Bathory.

10. The Shallows

Blake Lively, forevermore denied the role of Star Sapphire in any Green Lantern sequels, stars as a woman who gets stuck on a reef by a killer shark.  I wouldn't describe it as "classic," but it's more suspenseful than most other horror/suspense movies released in the past few years.

11. Standoff

Two men try to outwit one another after a girl witnesses a murder.  Thomas Jane (remember him?) and Laurence Fishburne star.  No big surprises here, but it's professionally done and relatively plausible.

Some Bad Ones

1. The Boy

An American woman travels to the U.K., where she works as a nanny to a doll.  Pro: This movie is spooky from the very beginning to the very end.  Con: The fact that the woman doesn't go running for the hills in the first ten minutes costs her some major sympathy points.  Said protagonist also goes from 0 to Crazy in the time it takes her shoes to mysteriously appear outside her door.

Fun Fact: This movie was actually shot in Victoria, British Columbia, where spooky old houses abound.

2. Keanu

Unfunny comedy about two guys trying to get their cat back.  Key and Peele star.  There's a kinda, sorta funny bit where Key tries to get some gangsters into George Michael, but aside from that this movie's laugh-free.  Don't be fooled by its high scores on various websites.  These scores only account for those who bothered to see the movie.

3. The Forest

A woman travels to Japan's "suicide forest" in search of her twin sister.  I've never understood the fascination with this place, either as portrayed in this film or the earlier Sea of Trees.  And where Sea of Trees is at least somewhat interesting, The Forest is both predictable and chock full of horror movie cliches.

4. The 5th Wave

Alien invasion!  That's a thing, right?  Or is it?  I guess it depends on which YouTube conspiracy theorist you believe.

Chloe Grace Moretz stars as a girl trying to rescue her brother.  This film has Young Adult written all over it, so I won't bother to criticize the plot too much.  Needless to say, the aliens' plan to conquer and/or exterminate mankind makes almost no sense.

5. Sausage Party

Just painful.  It's all like, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, sexual innuendo, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck...."  Rinse and repeat.  It got a lot of positive reviews, but I wasn't feeling this one.

One So Bad It's Almost Good

1. Diablo*

Western in which Scott, the junior Eastwood, attempts to rescue his "wife" from Mexican bandits.  In between here and there he spends a lot of time messing with his saddle and grimacing at the camera.  A lot of people blame Eastwood Jr. for this hot mess of a film, but in my opinion the blame rests solely with the director, who's no Sergio Leone.

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*Not sure if this movie came out in 2015 or 2016.  Could belong to the year before.

The Movies of 2016

Hey it's 2017.  Had you noticed?  If not, Donald Trump is Commander in Chief, Moonlight won the Oscar for Best Picture, and the New England Patriots won the Superbowl (again).

But I'm not here to talk about 2017.  Oh, no.  What I'd rather do is talk about 2016, and the movies from that year.  As you can see I've missed a lot, but with the number of movies coming out all the time this isn't too surprising.  People have to work, after all.

Movies in red are the movies that I consider the best movies of that particular month.

1. January 2016: Kung Fu Panda 3, Eddie the Eagle, Ride Along 2, Jane Got a Gun

I think Kung Fu Panda 3 the one where Po discovers the secret village of pandas.  Then they have to fight someone - but I can't remember why. 

Hugh Jackman puts on his best American accent for Eddie the Eagle, and the movie is inspirational without being overly manipulative.  Who knew that ski jumping could be that interesting?

Half humorless comedy, half car (and boat) commercial, Ride Along 2 only emphasizes the fact that Olivia Munn can't act. 

Jane Got a Gun isn't bad, but the ending is somewhat anticlimactic.  As Westerns go, it's strictly second tier. 

2. February 2016: Hail, Caesar!, Deadpool, Zootopia, Gods of Egypt, Zoolander 2

As much as I usually like the Cohen Brothers, Hail, Caesar! did almost nothing for me.

Deadpool was more than I'd hoped for.  I wish they'd hurry up and start filming the sequel, but at the same time their desire to get it just right is encouraging.

Zootopia's a thinly veiled allegory about racial tolerance.  My younger daughter was obsessed with it for about a month. 

If it had come out in the early 80s, Gods of Egypt would've had its own line of action figures, I'd be under 10 years old, and I would've LOVED it.  As it is, it's an amusingly bad movie that teaches us that the right set of breast implants can decide the fate of mankind. 

Speaking of ridiculous.  Zoolander 2 isn't even enough so to be funny.  Excruciating.
 

3. March 2016: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, 10 Cloverfield Lane, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Everybody Wants Some!!, The Brothers Grimsby, Midnight Special

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot was a surprisingly good movie about a female American journalist in Afghanistan.

10 Cloverfield Lane wasn't that great.  Yeah, John Goodman was suitably creepy, but that movie went nowhere fast.

It's fashionable to pile hate upon Batman v. Superman, but I thought it was fucking great.  All this chanting of "not like the comics" originates with people who haven't read enough comics.  Plot holes?  No worse than most other comic book movies.  "Martha?" Why not?  It made sense to me.  I blame many of the bad reviews on critics with short attention spans. 

Everybody Wants Some!!, a film by Richard Linklater, tells the story of a college baseball player, circa 1980.  It's the most homoerotic of Linklater's movies, but it's also very watchable.  I'd be surprised if a couple of the cast members didn't have a serious future ahead of them in Hollywood.  My only complaint?  I really don't think they would have used the term "stalker" that way in 1980. 

The Brothers Grimsby isn't all that funny, but compared to Zoolander 2 it's hysterical.  Penelope Cruz is in both movies! 

It might remind you a lot of 1984's Starman, but Midnight Special is a solid film with some memorable twists.  The ending wasn't as epic as I was hoping for, but it's very good just the same. 

4. April 2016: The Boss, Captain America: Civil War, The Jungle Book, Demolition, Elvis and Nixon

The Boss was really disappointing.  Melissa McCarthy is hilarious given the opportunity, but something about this movie was just off.

I thought Captain America: Civil War was... ok?  Not great, just ok.  Kind of a let down if you ask me.

I kept hearing about how wonderful The Jungle Book was, so I tracked it down and watched it.  I still don't understand what all the hype was about. 

Critics weren't very kind to Demoliton, but I think it's great.  Jake Gyllenhaal stars as a man trying to cope with the death of his wife.  It sounds depressing, but the plot takes some interesting turns and it's quite uplifting near the end. 

If you don't stop to think about it, Elvis and Nixon sounds like a great idea for a movie.  Michael Shannon as Elvis.  Kevin Spacey as Nixon.  Based on an actual event.  But there's not enough of an event to build a movie around, and the first half of this movie - despite Shannon's best efforts - is extremely boring. 

5. May 2016: X-Men: Apocalypse, Money Monster, The Nice Guys, Green Room, Last Days in the Desert

X-Men: Apocalypse is TERRIBLE.  Anyone who says otherwise is either confused or has weird standards for what makes a movie watchable.

Money Monster is also bad.  I only saw it because X-Men: Apocalypse was so bad.  You know how a bad movie makes you want to hurry out and see a better movie?  I mistakenly thought that Money Monster would be better.

I saw The Nice Guys recently.  It's a Shane Black movie with Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling.  Black's movies are about 50/50 for me, but parts of The Nice Guys are genuinely funny.

Green Room is the story of a punk band seeing something they're not supposed to at a skinhead show.  It gets pretty fucked up from there.  Good movie.  (R.I.P. Anton Yelchin) 

Last Days in the Desert is an arty movie about the days Jesus spent in the desert, prior to his crucifixion.  It reminded me a bit of (the far superior) Last Temptation of Christ. 

6. June 2016: The Conjuring 2, Finding Dory, Central Intelligence, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

I liked the second Conjuring more than the first.  Took my daughters to see this, and they were really freaked out.  (Heh heh)

Finding Dory doesn't quite have the crossover appeal that Finding Nemo did, but I've seen it a couple times now and I still like it. 

Despite a plot that makes almost no sense, there are some funny bits in Central Intelligence.  Both Kevin Hart and The Rock demonstrate that they can carry a film in the absence of a good script. 

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping falls flat, but there are some funny moments.  If you haven't seen it already, Hot Rod is WAY funnier and features a lot of the same actors.  Even Laser Cats is better. 

7. July 2016: The Purge: Election Year, Ice Age: Collision Course, Star Trek Beyond

I know I've seen the second Purge, but I can't remember anything about it.  Ditto for Ice Age XXXIV or whatever number it is.

Star Trek Beyond was a vast improvement over Star Trek: Cumbertrek.  "Beyond" reminded me why I will always like this series more than Star Wars. 

8. August 2016: Suicide Squad, Hell or High Water, Imperium

And you thought X-Men: Apocalypse was terrible?  I present Suicide Squad.  And yet, as a concept this movie had so much going for it.  What a wasted opportunity!

If I was running the Oscars this year, I probably would have given Hell or High Water Best Picture.

Imperium is another overlooked movie.  It's a bit longer than it needs to be, but the fascist conspiracy theme is timely.  Daniel Radcliffe is excellent in it. 

9. September 2016: Snowden, Ms. Peregrine's House for Peculiar Children

Snowden is a good movie that's trying too hard to make a point.  Then again, this isn't a surprise considering that Oliver Stone directed it.

During the Chinese New Year holiday I wound up watching Ms. Peregrine with my in-laws.  Definitely not a great movie, but watchable. 

10. October 2016: The Accountant, Moonlight 

The Accountant didn't blow my mind, but it was good.  I'll probably watch it again one of these days.

It won Best Picture, but I think Moonlight is slightly overrated.  Certainly an excellent film, but it's also the kind of film that politically correct friends want you to like. 

11. November 2016: Doctor Strange, Hacksaw Ridge, Loving, Arrival, The Monster, Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk, The Edge of Seventeen, Bleed for This, Manchester by the Sea, Nocturnal Animals, Moana, Allied, Miss Sloane, Lion

November of last year seems to be the winner in terms of movies I've actually seen.

Doctor Strange was visually impressive, but it's pretty much the first Iron Man with magic.

Hacksaw Ridge is an amazing movie.  Perhaps my favorite of 2016 after Lion.

Loving is about an interracial couple living in the South.  It's a lot more understated than Moonlight or Hidden Figures, but I think it's a better movie.

Speaking of overrated: Arrival.  I loved Prisoners, but I don't get why everyone made such a fuss over this movie.  As science fiction films go, I'd give it a B+.  Terence Malick-y in the extreme.

The Monster sucks.

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk reminded me of why I don't follow Ang Lee anymore.

The Edge of Seventeen is one of the best movies of last year.  Ah, high school.  Thank God it's over!

Bleed for This is an average boxing movie featuring Miles Teller.  Not even half as good as Whiplash.

I liked Manchester by the Sea, and I think Casey Affleck deserved the Oscar, but the story was a bit lacking.  A lot of Affleck's character's actions rested upon the dynamic between him and his ex-wife, and the movie needed more scenes of them together.

Nocturnal Animals is a difficult film to watch, but it's very memorable.  I wasn't surprised it didn't get nominated for Best Picture, or any of the other big awards.  It's just too dark to win those kinds of awards.

Moana?  No, I'm not seven, but I liked it.  A lot, actually.

Allied is a somewhat anachronistic WWII love story.  You can't tell me they would have tolerated even the idea of a Nazi agent in their midst - not back then!

Jessica Chastain deserved an Oscar for Miss Sloane.  That movie probably tries most people's patience, but the ending is terrific.

Lion is the only movie here that made me cry.  Seriously.  The ending made me cry.

12. December 2016: Jackie, Nerdland, La La Land, Frank and Lola, Rogue One, Fences, The Founder, Silence, Hidden Figures, Passengers

Jackie is boring.  I don't care what the critics say.

Nerdland is a cartoon.  And it's boring.  In this case, the critics are right.

La La Land wins the Oscar for Most Excruciating Movie I've Tried to Sit Through Recently.  I completely fail to understand why people gushed so profusely over this film.  I liked the scenes where they weren't singing, but c'mon.  This is fluff.  There were many 2016 movies that were better.

Frank and Lola is a movie about jealousy.  It's not bad, but I had a hard time understanding why Michael Shannon's character acted the way he did.  I think Shannon was much better used in both Midnight Special and Nocturnal Animals.

Rogue One?  Forgettable.  Not bad, but forgettable.

Fences is a good movie that feels a little too much like a play.  Might have been better with a few more scenes away from the house.

Saw The Founder not long ago.  Michael Keaton is GREAT.  Who knew that the story of McDonald's could be so interesting?

Andrew Garfield's Path to the 2018 Oscars: violent movies in which he cries a lot.  Hacksaw Ridge was the first, Silence was the second.  Mark my words, there will be more to follow.  This said, Silence is more intellectual than it has a right to be, though I'm not sure what kind of point it's trying to make.  If religious observance is a personal experience outside the reach of societal norms, why the need for martyrs?

Silence, by the way, would make a truly weird double feature with La La Land.  I can't think of two movies that are more different.

Hidden Figures was good, but it didn't feel either as real or as immediate as other racially-themed movies from the same year.  I thought Moonlight, Loving, and Fences were all better. 

Passengers is a solid science fiction film centered on a morally ambiguous act.  I don't quite understand the negative reactions to this film.  Perhaps critics were expecting a more out-and-out love story?  Perhaps they were expecting Chris Pratt to play the hero?  In a way, this movie's like the reverse of Arrival - a good film with bad reviews - many of which were generated not so much by the film itself but by the pretensions (and preconceptions) of its critics.  This said, about 20 minutes of this movie are completely implausible.

...and this brings me to the end of 2016!  In conclusion, I'd like to offer my list of favorites from the above films.

My Favorite Movies of 2016

(in no particular order)

1. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice*

2. Demolition

3. Star Trek Beyond

4. Hell or High Water

5. Hacksaw Ridge

6.The Edge of Seventeen
7. Nocturnal Animals
8. Miss Sloane
9. Lion
10. The Founder

*No, I'm not insane.  I genuinely liked it.  I LOVED it, in fact.  Give this movie another 10-15 years, and it'll be one of those "cult classics" (like Blade Runner) that people pretend they liked since its theatrical run.

 

Thoughts on Marvel's Luke Cage

I realize that I'm a bit late coming at this one.  I got hold of it the first day it was released, but I've been busy with work, and I haven't been able to watch it as quickly as I usually do.

Below are some thoughts... 

1. The fight scenes are boring

The thing that made Daredevil so cool was the fight scenes.  That fight down the corridor with the Russian mobsters, for example.  Luke Cage, by comparison, just walks into a place, gets shot a few times, and that's it.

2. There's no sense of risk

Luke Cage, as far as anyone in the show knows, is invincible.  He gets hit, he's ok.  He gets shot, he's ok.  He gets hit by a rocket launcher - and he's still ok.  Without the threat of harm, most of the events which unfold in the series are completely uninteresting.

Which isn't to say that Luke Cage might not have some intriguing vulnerabilities which could be exploited by his adversaries.  The people he loves, for example.  Or perhaps, as one character suggests, he might be susceptible to drowning or poisoning.  But for whatever reason, his enemies don't think it's worth their while to probe him for weaknesses, and we're left with a strange situation in which they attempt to fight him in the most conventional manner possible - even though they've seen such methods fail again and again.

This is also true of the "Judas bullet" they use in later episodes.  Diamondback has a rifle with a scope, he's firing from a short distance away, and yet he proceeds to shoot Luke Cage in the stomach.  Why not shoot him in the head - either from the beginning or later on, in the theater?  And why only shoot him in the shoulder afterward, allowing Luke to escape?

The whole thing that made Daredevil so compelling was his vulnerability.  He could either be hurt physically, or emotionally through people he cares about.  This is another reason why his fight scenes were better - after they concluded you saw either Daredevil's injuries, or the reactions of his friends to these injuries. 

And why is Luke Cage so terrified of going back to Seagate Prison?  He has super powers.  I really don't think it's the same ball game once you've got super powers.  What are they going to do at Seagate?  Put him in solitary?  With only concrete walls to hold him in?  The guy can punch through steel!
 

3. Mike Colter is a terrible actor.

I'm just going to go ahead and put this out there.  When you think of all the other, more talented black actors they could have cast in the role, it's hard to figure why they settled on Mike Colter.  Yes, he's handsome.  Yes, he's big.  But he lacks what other, better actors live and breathe by: presence.

I realize they're too old, but just imagine what someone like Denzel Washington, Laurence Fishburne, or Delroy Lindo might have done with a role like Luke Cage.  No doubt they'd struggle with the awkward dialogue, but in those moments where they had to project their inner conflict, you'd really feel what they were going through - even if they said nothing at all.

4. Some of the people in this show are GREAT actors, but they struggle with bad dialogue.

Alfre Woodard being the prime example.  She could have done so much more with a better script.  The actor who plays Cottonmouth is also excellent, but he's often reduced to a stereotypical heavy.  The actor who plays Diamondback, despite getting some of the best dialogue, spends most of the time chewing scenery, and responding to other characters' badly written lines with a gravity they don't deserve.

And why doesn't anyone in this show ever use the word "fuck?"  It works overtime to throw in slang, even for the white characters, but at the most anyone ever says is "shit" or "bitch" or "nigger."  Are you trying to tell me that people in Harlem don't use the word "fuck?"  Really?

The people writing this show had a line to walk between slang and "normal" speech, and they failed spectacularly in this regard.  It gets better in the later episodes, but not by much.

5. The music is cool.

This is one of the few good things I have to say about Luke Cage.  The music is always good.

6. Misty Knight is a wasted character.

Honestly, what does she DO in this show?  She almost always shows up too late to do anybody any good, and her inability to identify the perpetrators of any crime prompts one to question how she ever made detective in the first place.

7. What is Luke Cage trying to do?

"Clean up Harlem?"  Why?  How?  He has to know that defeating Cottonmouth (or Diamondback) is only the tip of the iceberg, and that neighborhood-specific villains don't exist in reality.  Harlem is just one part of a very big, very populous city, and eliminating the one bad guy who happens to live in his neighborhood just provides more breathing room (and territory) for other bad guys, outside of that neighborhood.

What I'm trying to get at here is that a lot of the problems that Luke Cage attempts to fix are more global that he'd like to admit.  For all his busting up safe houses and bringing down local gangsters, he ought to realize that he's just pushing the criminal element outside of his neighborhood, NOT outside the city.

Yes, Daredevil's base of operations is Hell's Kitchen, but at no point in that show do they imply that he's set on cleaning up that part of New York in isolation.  His battles with the Kingpin and The Hand range all over New York.

8. The writers didn't do their homework.

One of the things that made Daredevil so great was the attention to detail.  You can tell that they bothered to research how the criminal justice system works in New York.  Not only from the legal aspect, but right down to how land is zoned and how beat cops do their job.

In Luke Cage all of the prison officials, policemen, and reporters are little more than cardboard cutouts, appearing and disappearing whenever the story seems to require it.  They are, in other words, not really people at all, and this is a shame because fleshing them out better would have given the show better legs to stand on.

The police procedural aspects of this show improve a bit by episode 8, after Misty assaults Rosario Dawson's character, but it's still a far cry from what has been done in countless other, police-related shows.

9. This show lacks balls.

This show is, to some extent, topical, but it needed to embrace that topicality, and not shy away from it so much.  There are so many squandered opportunities - opportunities to talk about police brutality, about gun control, about the democratic process, and about the ways in which a community can address societal ills.  In the end it's just good guys vs. bad guys all over again.

10. Many of the critics are either too blind or too scared to judge this show on its own merits.

No way does Luke Cage deserve the praise it's receiving.  No way does this show deserve 4.5 stars out of 5.  No way does it deserve a "B" rating.  No way does it deserve descriptive phrases like "beautifully crafted" or "the best Netflix/Marvel series so far."

I'd give it 3 stars out of 5.  Maybe 2.5.  I'd give it a solid "C."  And nothing about this show is "beautifully crafted," except maybe the music.  The best Netflix/Marvel series so far?  Not even close. 

11. In conclusion...

Out of the Netflix shows thus far, I'd have to rank Luke Cage dead last.  Daredevil's second season was probably my favorite, even with the weak conclusion.  Behind Daredevil's second season I'd place the first, which meandered a bit, but featured some excellent plotting and characterization.  Behind this I'd put Jessica Jones, which had a great villain, but a lead character's whose actions seemed inconsistent with her character.  In many respects Luke Cage combines the weaknesses of all three shows, having a weak ending, a lack of focus, and a character that often does inexplicable things.

(I realize that in my previous review of Jessica Jones I put it above Daredevil's first season, but I have since changed my mind.)

Here's hoping Iron Fist is better.  I know one thing: after watching Luke Cage sleepwalk through fight scenes, I'd love to get back to some kung fu fighting.

Comic Book Interlude 7

Probably the last of the comics I'll review for a while.  I'm getting burned out.  I plan to continue reading Saga, Monstress, The Sheriff of Babylon, The Fix, and Sex Criminals, but I doubt I'll be seeking out any other titles.

The Wicked + The Divine 1-3 (2014)

This comic book just about puts the "P" in pretentious.  Gods revisit the Earth every ninety years in new bodies, and from the moment they do there's a two year time limit on their (present) earthly existence.

It's hard to explain why I loathe this comic book so much.  Part of the reason is that it seems designed for a certain comic book-reading demographic, a hipsterish group of people expecting comics with a) a certain teasing amount of sex, b) sudden acts of violence, c) sexually ambiguous characters, and d) tedious discussions of godhood and/or other theological concepts impervious to Science.  

But aside from the above, it's also boring.

The Fix 1-2 (2016)

Two law enforcement types sideline as criminals.  This series just started, but the two issues I read were hilarious.

Sex Criminals 1-15 (2013-2016)

I thought Saga was the best comic out there, but then I read Sex Criminals.  It's a terrifically funny and engaging comic about people who can stop time with their genitals.  Yes, you read that right.  Their genitals.  Easily the best comic I've read in years.

A Review of Every Marvel Movie from 2008 to the Present (Revised as of May 20, 2016)

Due to the truly astonishing number of Marvel films either released or in various stages of production, I have decided to begin the list below with the first Iron Man, in 2008.  For reviews of older Marvel films look here.

****	Excellent!  Had to see it twice!
***	Good movie with a few flaws.
**	Not bad, but not great.
*	I’d watch it once if I was bored enough.
[no stars]	Just terrible.
@	So bad it’s kind of good.

21. Iron Man (2008) ****

After Batman Begins, this is the other movie that reinvigorated the genre.  Where Batman Begins was dark, this one was funny.  Where Batman is driven, Tony Stark is brilliantly conflicted.  It is everything that Nolan's movie wasn't, and that's why it works.

22. The Incredible Hulk (2008) ***1/2

This movie was sidelined by the overwhelming success of Iron Man, but I loved it.  I loved Edward Norton's take on the character, I loved the script he wrote for the film, and I loved the Greco-Roman take on The Hulk.  My only complaint is that he let The Abomination live at the end.  I found this hard to believe.

23. Punisher: War Zone (2008) *

A more violent take on Frank Castle.  It's a solid film, but maybe a little too depressing for its own good.  I consider it an improvement on the first.

24. X-men Origins: Wolverine (2009) *

This movie is standard popcorn fare, much along the lines of Ghost Rider. Hugh Jackman goes through the motions, an attempt to bring Deadpool and Gambit into the mix is handled badly, and by the end you're thankful that it's not as dreadful as X3.

2010s

25. Iron Man 2 (2010) ***

I liked this almost as much as the first one.  Downey Jr. is given even better one-liners in this film, and Mickey Rourke characteristically chews the scenery.  Sam Rockwell is also great as Justin Hammer, and my only complaint is that Don Cheadle isn't given enough to do.

26. Kick-Ass (2010) **

I have friends who love this movie.  I don't.  I think the first half is good, but after Big Daddy dies it just gets silly - especially the jet pack.  A nice warm up for The Amazing Spider-Man, however.

27. Thor (2011) *

Considering how hard it must have been to adapt Thor to the big screen, I would consider this movie a success.  Still, compared to other movies Marvel Studios has made, I think this is the weakest one.  I've never been a big fan of Kenneth Branagh.

28. X-men: First Class (2011) ***

Michael Fassbender makes this movie.  Forgive the pun, but he is positively magnetic as Magneto.  I thought the end was weak, but it's still miles ahead of the first three films.

29. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) ***

Still one of my favorite Marvel movies.  It might seem a bit slow for some people, but the mixture of Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark really worked for me.

30. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

Ghost Rider journeys to Europe on an extremely low budget.  The screenplay was probably good, but the direction is all over the place and Nicholas Cage overdoes the "manic" elements.  The only good thing I can say about this film is that the actress who plays "the Devil's baby-momma" is extremely beautiful.  Fun Fact: Idris Elba, who appeared in Thor the year before, is Johnny Blaze's sidekick.

31. The Avengers (2012) ***1/2

There are entire websites devoted to how awesome this movie is.  It's a good film, but not one of the best.  Considering how difficult it is to put characters as diverse as Captain America, Iron Man, and Thor into the same movie universe, this one is an unqualified triumph.  I'm only sorry the Oscorp Tower didn't make an appearance.

32. The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) ***

This is a good movie, and I'm looking forward to the sequel.  Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone have some terrific chemistry, and it's a solid effort.  The Lizard is a bit too Hulk-like for my taste, but this is a vast improvement over Spider-Man 3.

33. Iron Man 3 (2013) *

I was super excited about this movie, but walked away from it disappointed.  It starts out well, but neither of the villains are very compelling, and the stunt work is too over the top.  My biggest complaint is the ending, which gives us a Tony Stark who no longer has any reason to be Iron Man.

34. Kick-Ass 2 (2013) **

It's not a great movie, but it's not bad.  There are some funny scenes in this one, but it could have been a lot better.

35. The Wolverine (2013) **1/2

I had high hopes for this one, but it wasn't all that good.  It's certainly much better than X-Men Origins: Wolverine and all the other X-Men films, but that's not saying all that much.

36. Thor: The Dark World (2013) ***

This was a great movie.  I didn't love the first Thor, but this one was a vast improvement.  Reminded me a lot of the Walt Simonson run on the comic book.  Hoping to see Beta Ray Bill in Thor 3!

37. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) **1/2

Steve Rogers struggles with the modern world and his role in S.H.I.E.L.D.  After encountering the Winter Soldier, he has even more reasons to doubt the nobility of certain causes.  A very topical movie, with some great action sequences.  Didn't like it as much as Thor: The Dark World, but it was well done.

38. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) **

Too much CGI, but some great performances from Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone.  I liked this movie more than "Captain America: The Winter Soldier," though the action sequences in Cap were better.  This film has more dramatic tension, better ensemble performances, and more heart.  Looking forward to the third film!

39. X-men: Days of Future Past (2014) ***1/2

A surprisingly good movie.  As mutantkind faces extinction, Wolverine journeys into the past to change the future.  Excellent performances, and one of the most emotionally resonant superhero films to come along in quite a while.  Fun Fact: Although played by a white midget (Peter Dinklage) in Days of Future Past, Bill Duke, a rather large black man, plays Bolivar Trask in the earlier X-Men: The Last Stand.

40. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) **

A good movie, though it features too many characters for its own good.  Humor holds the film together, and makes some of the less plausible plot elements seem more plausible.  As with many other recent films from Marvel Studios, seems less inspired than calculated.  Maybe the second one will be better?

41. The Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)**1/2

I can't say it's flawless, but I did like it much better than Guardians of the Galaxy.  It's less talky than the first Avengers, and the battle between Hulk and the Hulkbuster is truly awesome.  Quicksilver seemed a bit  underused, and I would have liked to see more of the Vision, but it's still a great movie.

42. Ant-Man (2015)**

Any great scenes in this movie involve a) Michael Pena, b) shrinking, or c) both.  As for the rest of it?  It starts off well enough, but it takes too long to get going.  "The heist" at the end is a bit of a non-event, but the fight scenes between Ant-Man and Yellowjacket are good.

43. Fantastic Four (2015)*

This movie is not bad up until the four return from Planet Zero.  After that point it's a mess.  Once Reed escapes from the military facility the dialogue is awful, the characters do things that make no sense, and the movie somehow ends without building up any kind of dramatic tension.  It feels like an hour of this film was removed before it hit theaters, and Dr. Doom looks like he escaped from another, much lower-budget film.

44. Deadpool (2016)***

The good news: as far as films within Fox's X-men universe go, this one is second best.  It's not as riveting as X-men: Days of Future Past, but it's better than all the other ones.  Compared to the Marvel Studios films, I'd rank it above lesser efforts like Iron Man 2 and 3, though it comes nowhere near their best.  It's refreshingly profane, yet it struggles during most of the "serious" parts.  A sequel to this movie would probably be much better than the original.

45. Captain America: Civil War (2016) **1/2

I liked it, but it was WAY to long and that fight at the airport seemed entirely unnecessary.  The inclusion of both Black Panther and Spider-Man also did very little to advance the plot, though I was happy to finally see Marvel's approach to these characters.  I think a smaller-scale movie, concentrating on the dynamic between Steve, Bucky, and Tony would have worked much better.

46. X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) **

Continuity be damned!  Never mind the fact that many of the events occurring in Apocalypse happened much later (or is it earlier?) in the first three X-men movies.  Never mind the fact that many of the characters from First Class ought to be in their 50s by the 1980s.  The biggest problem with this movie is the villain, and the fact that he's just not threatening.  When you title a movie "Apocalypse" it ought to feel like the end of the world, and this movie just doesn't deliver on that promise.

On the Way 

 47. Doctor Strange (2016)

All I can say is... finally!  I've been waiting for this movie for so long.  Scott Derrickson is directing, and Benedict Cumberbatch will star as Stephen Strange.  The first trailer was released today, and it looks GREAT.  Time to get strange!

48. Deadpool 2?  X-Force? New Mutants? (2016)

The Gambit movie has been put on hold for the time being.  A Deadpool sequel so soon seems unlikely.  X-Force also seems unlikely without Deadpool.  New Mutants is a distinct possibility, however.

49. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (2017)

Who would have thought the first Guardians of the Galaxy would be such a success?  And who would have thought that a sequel would be on the way so soon?  Most of the original cast and crew will return for this film.

50. Third Wolverine Film (2017)

Hugh Jackman and director James Mangold will be returning.  Hopefully they can improve upon The Wolverine, which wasn't the stylistic triumph I hoped it would be.  Hugh Jackman has indicated that they'll be going for "Old Man Logan," though of course Fox will need to change a lot of the story to make up for characters they don't have the rights to.

51. Deadpool 2? X-Force? New Mutants? (2017)

Fox just greenlit the Deadpool sequel, and it seems likely that it will take over Fantastic Four 2's release date.  Either that or they'll skip straight to X-Force and put Deadpool on the roster.  New Mutants is also a possibility.

52. Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

The Hulk will be in it, though nothing is known about the plot.  Taika Waititi will be directing, and Chris Hemsworth will return as Thor.

53. The Black Panther (2017)

Chadwick Boseman will play the Black Panther.  Creed's Ryan Coogler is directing.  I think it's safe to say that elements of his backstory will appear in the upcoming Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Nothing else is known about this movie.

54. Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Sony finally set a release date for this film.  After years of negotiations with Marvel, Tom Holland will finally star as a much younger Spider-Man, with Jon Watts directing.  I thought the Amazing Spider-Man films were... OK, but I'm glad to see the character back under Marvel's supervision.  Last I heard Michael Keaton (Batman!) was in talks to play (one of the) villain(s).

55. The Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (2018)

It was bound to happen.  Thanos will be the villain, and his quest for the infinity gems (stones) will probably cause Earth's mightiest heroes a great deal of misery.  The interplay between this and DC's two Justice League movies will be fun to watch.

56. Captain Marvel (2018)

A female superhero film - even if it will appear a YEAR after DC's Wonder Woman.  And Captain Marvel ain't no Wonder Woman!  My guess is that Marvel will struggle with the script for a while and eventually give up.  Captain Marvel just isn't that interesting a character.

57. Inhumans (2018)

It's kind of hard to imagine the Inhumans in the absence of the Fantastic Four, but I'm sure Marvel will figure out a way to make it work.  Last I heard this movie had been delayed, and its release date may be given to another film.

58. Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) 

No details on this movie as yet.  It was announced this week, and the release dates for both Captain Marvel and Black Panther have been adjusted to accommodate it.

59. The Avengers: Infinity War Part 2 (2019)

With a rumored budget of a BILLION dollars, this and Infinity War Part 1 will, if nothing else, be something to talk about.

60. Untitled (2020) 

Have fun guessing.  My guess is that we finally get another Hulk movie.  Yeah, I know about that business with Universal, and yes, he often works better as part of the Avengers, but a Planet Hulk or World War Hulk movie would be amazing.  Marvel also knows how bad many of us want this one.

61. Untitled (2020) 

Have fun guessing here, too.  We can safely rule out Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America.  Ant-Man's sequel and Guardians of the Galaxy 2 are also listed above.  What does that leave us?  Could Marvel have won back the rights to the Fantastic Four?  Or will it be Guardians of the Galaxy 3?

62. Untitled (2020) 

Go CRAZY guessing!  Ghost Rider?  Daredevil on the big screen?  The Punisher?  Ego the living planet?  The U-Foes?  Spider-Gwen?