For further background on the year in film, please refer to the Some Other Movies From 2012 entry.
The following things happened in 2012:
- Violent protests occurred in Romania.
- Iran suspended oil exports to England and France.
- North Korea attempted to launch an observation satellite, which exploded shortly thereafter.
- Vladimir Putin was elected President of Russia.
- The Tokyo Skytree was opened to the public.
- China became the third country to successfully complete a space mission.
- The Summer Olympics were held in London, England.
- Barack Obama was reelected President of the United States.
Underlined titles were viewed on Netflix.
Excellent
1. The Perks of Being a Wallflower
This movie really gets high school. The social awkwardness, the alienation, it's all there and evident to anyone who cares to take a step back. The trouble is that so many of us were busy doubting ourselves at the time. But take heart, high school students, life actually does get better.
The lead in this movie, Logan Lerman, is another example of perfect casting. He spends most of this film with a look on his face that says the wrong word could break him into pieces. What's more, Emma Watson is memorable as his romantic ideal, and this movie will remind you why Ezra Miller is in so many movies. Between this film and We Need to Talk About Kevin his talent is obvious.
Fun Fact: The shop teacher in the beginning is played by Tom Savini.
Some Good Ones
1. Safe
Hey, it's Chris Sarandon!
Jason Statham stars as an ex-cop trying to rescue a girl caught between a Chinese gang, a Russian gang and a group of corrupt cops. It's definitely one of Statham's best movies, even if the the police raid near the end is a bit implausible. I love that shot of him hitting the stuntman with the back of the car, and then hitting the same stuntman again with the front of the car. If you're into fight choreography you'll enjoy this one.
Fun Fact: Does that police captain look familiar? If so, it's because he's played by Robert John Burke, who played Alex Murphy/Robocop in Robocop 3.
2. Rise of the Guardians
I joked in my review of The Santa Clause 2 about various mythical beings forming a "Justice League" or "Avengers" to combat fascism. This movie actually does that. They're not combating fascism of course, but rather fear in the shape of The Boogeyman. It's a very boy-centric movie, but it works.
Fun Fact: Peter Ramsay, the director of this movie, co-directed Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse with two other directors.
3. Brave
As far as computer animation goes I'd rank Brave below Rise of the Guardians above. I liked the Scottish setting, but it's a little too similar to the earlier Brother Bear.
Fun Fact: Disney registered the Clan DunBroch's tartan with the Scottish Register of Tartans. The blue represents the North Sea, the red represents blood shed during the clan wars, and the green represents the Scottish Highlands.
4. Moonrise Kingdom
A scout goes missing on a remote island. What was the last Wes Anderson movie I saw? The Fantastic Mr. Fox? Whichever it was, Moonrise Kingdom full of the same idiosyncratic dialogue, weird camera angles, scenes of people listing items, and characters who are trapped by an odd sense of formality. I liked it, but didn't love it.
5. The Impossible
Hey, it's Tom Holland!
Besides Tom Holland, there's also Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts as tourists vacationing in Thailand just before a tsunami hits. It seemed a bit heavy handed to me, but the special effects are great and Naomi Watts deserved the praise she received at the time.
Fun Fact: This was Tom Holland's first movie, not counting a Japanese cartoon which he'd voiced a character for.
6. Think Like a Man
Several male friends encounter several potential conquests versed in the art (and war) of sex. It's cheesy as hell, and I'm not buying the reconciliation at the very end, but it's funny throughout. There was a sequel in 2014, but critics liked that one even less.
7. Pitch Perfect
Surprisingly funny movie about a female a cappella group's path to glory. You'd think that Rebel Wilson makes this movie, but the rest of the cast is equally hilarious.
Some Bad Ones
1. Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines
Hey, it's Doug Bradley!
Several young people, all too stupid to be allowed to continue living, venture into a music festival held in hillbilly country. Unlike Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings, which is so bad it's good, this one's just bad, and rather boring.
Fun Fact: Doug Bradley not only appeared in Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines, but also Hellraiser: Bloodline. At one point in Wrong Turn 5 he even insults his fellow hillbillies by calling them "pinheads."
2. Snow White and the Huntsman
Disney goes all grimdark in an attempt to update their beloved classic for modern audiences. Chris Hemsworth must have filmed this either just before or just after The Avengers. It's very boring.
3. Resident Evil: Retribution
Faint praise indeed, but this one feels more like a video game. At several points in the movie I couldn't help but look across the room at my Switch, and think about how I would defeat this particular boss, or navigate this particular level.
And for whatever it's worth I think Paul W.S. Anderson does have another good movie in him, just as I think Milla Jovovich has that kind of end-of-career, Oscar-worthy performance in her... if only the two of them could break out of the lucrative zombie purgatory they've fashioned for themselves.
As with Resident Evil: Afterlife the best thing about this movie is Tomandandy's score. It's right on the money and adds a lot to a rather lackluster movie.
4. The Lucky One
A marine journeys to a small town to find his "guardian angel." It was adapted from a Nicholas Sparks novel, so don't be surprised if damaged people are healed by the power of love. Writing that last sentence made me a bit nauseous, but there it is. The evil ex-husband character could have been developed a lot more.
On the Horizon: Zac Efron will be appearing in the Firestarter reboot which is filming now. Rebooting 80s films like Firestarter makes a lot of sense to me. The original wasn't that good, and in competent hands the reboot is likely to be better.
5. Lawless
There are some great scenes in this movie about Virginia bootleggers, and Guy Pearce steals every single one he's in. But the whole of this movie is a lot less than the sum of its parts. My biggest problems with it were the fact that parts of it are too dark, the music seems wrong, and the clothes don't seem to belong to the time period.
6. The Lorax
Animated adaptation of Dr. Seuss' preachiest book. I have issues with the book, but the movie is even more troubling. What were kids supposed to take away from this film? Is it that we should grow more trees because they provide air for free? That all companies are bad? That all people are bad, and that they should not interact with nature in any way? I really don't know, but whatever the message behind this movie was, I'm sure that Dr. Seuss rolls over in his grave every time someone watches it.
Two pet peeves of mine are this "save the Earth" mentality, and also the assumption that the economy is always at odds with the natural environment. Save the Earth? No, save yourselves. The Earth will outlast our species, and assuming that we can live beyond a certain level of environmental degradation is just silly. The economy vs. the environment? Over a longer scale of time economic thinking IS environmental thinking, it's just that many individuals and groups take too short a view of how economically and environmentally sustainable their business models are.
...and now I'm the one preaching! I'll get off my soapbox now.
7. The Vow
Quite possibly the corniest movie ever made. I really can't figure out how Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams managed to say some of those lines without laughing. I got about fifteen minutes in and had to stop. "So Bad It's Good?" Maybe, but it was early for me and the dialogue was making me ill. In financial terms this movie was a smashing success, but oh, that dialogue...
So Bad It's Good, but Not as Bad as I Would Have Liked
1. Battleship
"You sunk my battleship!"
I started watching this and I'm like no, they didn't make a movie out of the board game, did they? And then it slowly dawned on me that yes, they made a movie out of the board game, and yes, I'd better strap myself in because this is going to be terrible. Were there also plans for an interconnected cinematic universe? A movie world linking Battleship, Operation and Monopoly? Lord, I hope so.
BUT the first half of this movie is actually quite boring, being a low grade mix of G.I. Joe (another Hasbro property) and Independence Day. It doesn't get enjoyably bad until the second half, when yes, that hoped-for game of Battleship occurs.
The aliens in this movie, by the way, would have struggled against the aliens from Independence Day. The aliens from that other science fiction spectacle were hampered by an operating system similar to Windows 95, whereas the aliens in Battleship are hampered by... the sun. Yeah, you read that right - the sun. Apparently they traveled across interstellar space without overcoming the problem of UV radiation, and also failed to developed vehicles that could fly properly.
Fun Fact 1: The studio considered cancelling this movie during pre-production, but some genius decided it was better to double down and increase the budget. I assume this genius is no longer working for Universal.
Fun Fact 2: This movie was, as you might expect, a huge disaster for everyone involved. For the most part everyone in the cast lived to tell the tale, but those press functions must have been rough.
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