1. Osama (2003)
A girl tries to pass for a boy in Taliban-controlled Kabul. This movie isn't an easy watch, but it'll likely stay with you long after you've seen it. It was the first movie filmed in Afghanistan since 1996, and it remains the highest-grossing Afghan film of all time.
A Silver Lining: The star of this film, Marina Golbahan, escaped Afghanistan after Osama's release and now lives in France.
2. We Were Soldiers (2002)
Say what you like about Mel Gibson, he knows his way around a war movie. This particular war movie follows the U.S. Army into scenic Vietnam, where predictable tragedies occur.
This movie's no Full Metal Jacket or anything, but I think it does a nice job of balancing the soldiers' lives against what their wives were going through at home. The Viet Minh forces, for that matter, are also shown in a more sympathetic light.
The director, Randall Wallace, also wrote Braveheart and frequently collaborates with Gibson. At the time of writing he's trying to crack a sequel to The Passion of the Christ, and if that sequel's as bonkers as I hope it will be I'm sure I'll love it.
Fun Fact: Clark Gregg is in this. It was years before he appeared in Iron Man.
3. Hulk (2003)
It's one of the clunkiest comic book movies ever made, but keep in mind that back in 2003 there weren't a lot of other examples to draw from. Sam Raimi's Spider-Man had come out, but up to that point the other big comic book movies consisted of 1989's Batman, its sequels and the Superman movies.
Ang Lee and his scriptwriters were cutting from whole cloth, and this production had a very troubled history to boot. The dialogue is on par with the creature features of a much earlier decade, some of Hulk's backstory is butchered, and much of the plot relies upon Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross making inexplicable decisions.
There's also that "drama class" scene near the end, which is both ridiculous and completely out of left field. "Oh yeah, never mind the fighting we were doing just minutes ago. Let's give Bruce a moment alone with his father!"
With all of that said I still think that Hulk is an inventive movie with some redeeming features. Eric Bana might not have done as much with the character as Ed Norton, but he's a solid lead and the cast is definitely stacked. Jennifer Connelly and Sam Eliot also deserved awards for mouthing some of those lines with straight faces.
I can remember seeing this one in the theater. My verdict back then? I gave it a passing grade. My verdict now? It's still worth seeing. It might be a failure in some respects, but it's an interesting failure nonetheless.
Fun Fact 1: Sam Eliot appeared in this the year after We Were Soldiers (above). In both movies he plays an Army Ranger.
Fun Fact 2: A sequel incorporating Grey Hulk, the Abomination and the Leader was planned and quickly shelved when Universal failed to meet its 2004 deadline to start filming.
4. S.W.A.T. (2003)
I can remember seeing posters for S.W.A.T. in the theater after seeing Hulk (above).
In S.W.A.T. Samuel L. Jackson assembles a team of... non-Avengers in his battle against crime. In this endeavor he's joined by fellow Marvel alumnus Jeremy Renner and Colin Farrell, whose career was in something of a death spiral at the time.
The first thing that struck me about this movie is how YOUNG Jackson, Renner and Farrell look in it. Then again it was 23 years ago, so yeah, that tracks.
As cop movies go it's not bad. Extremely formulaic, yes, but not bad. If nothing else Michelle Rodriguez is very beautiful, and I enjoyed watching her scenes. Her specific role in this movie? Uh... don't ask me, I was distracted by the tank top.
Fun Fact: Developed from a 70s TV show, this movie went through its share of development hell before entering production. At one point Arnold Schwarzenegger was attached to star, then Mark Wahlberg, then Paul Walker. At one point Zack Snyder was also announced as director, though he left soon after to do Dawn of the Dead.
5. Anger Management (2003)
I've started and stopped this film so many times. I finally watched it straight through recently. It's not bad. Jack Nicholson's character is interesting, and Adam Sandler holds his own as the straight man. It's not hilarious or anything, but as comedies go it's miles better than some other examples of the genre listed below.
6. Take Away (2003)
Australian movie in which the owners of two fish and chips shops team up to fight the local branch of a nationwide burger chain. Take Away was never going to win any awards, but its funny moments are still, for the most part, funny.
Fun Fact: Rose Byrne is in this. I had no idea she was Australian!
7. I Spy (2002)
Owen Wilson and Eddie Murphy star in this largely unfunny adaptation of the 60s TV show. To give Murphy some (possibly undeserved) credit, he actually is funny in this movie, but in terms of plot and character development it goes absolutely nowhere fast.
Fun Fact 1: The 60s show featured Robert Culp and Bill Cosby. Knowing what we now know about Cosby, I kinda hope they take another pass at the concept.
Fun Fact 2: Famke Janssen appeared in this between X-Men and X2: X-Men United.
8. D.E.B.S. (2004)
Low budget, girl-centric take on the spy genre which leans heavily on the physical attractiveness of its leads. It'll probably remind you of nothing more than a slightly more mature version of the Spy Kids franchise. Jordana Brewster had already appeared in The Fast and the Furious and Devon Aoki would later appear in Sin City.
Fun Fact 1: Director Angela Robinson later helmed Professor Marsten and the Wonder Women, a very overlooked movie.
Fun Fact(s) 2: Both Jordana Brewster and Devon Aoki have interesting backgrounds. Brewster is half-Panamanian, and her Brazilian mother appeared on a 1978 cover of Sports Illustrated. She's also a direct descendant of two passengers aboard The Mayflower.
Devon Aoki is the daughter of wrestler Rocky Aoki, owner of the Benihana restaurant chain and publisher of Genesis magazine. She was a celebrated model before her appearances in a handful of films. She retired from acting in 2009.
9. Daddy Day Care (2003)
During the year in which Hulk rampaged through San Francisco the Flash was racing through Eddie Murphy's living room. Daddy Day Care is a lot more cohesive than I Spy (above), but for all its cohesiveness it's even less funny. It was, of course, aimed squarely at kids, but there are plenty of kid's movies that adults can also enjoy.
10. Big Trouble (2002)
Dave Barry - remember him? In case you don't he was a noted humorist at the time, his syndicated column appearing in newspapers all over the States. Come to think of it, newspapers - remember those?
Tim Allen, an actor I've always found annoying, stars in this big screen adaptation of one of Barry's novels. It's all very Pulp Fiction-y, right down to a mysterious case that various characters lug around. Heavy D's and Omar Epps' scenes are amusing, but the rest of this film is a real drag.
It was, like I Spy above, a massive bomb. Tim Allen would live to fight another day, but I doubt many studios were banking on him after this point.
A Red Flag: Check the runtime: 1 hour and 17 minutes. With the possible exception of lower-budget horror, any feature film shorter than 1 hour and 30 minutes made after the 70s is probably bad.
11. Uncle Nino (2003)
An estranged Italian uncle brings an American family back together. A better screenplay would have had the rest of the family veer further away from the self-absorbed father's wishes, but as it is they all mope around and suffer his wrath in silence.
Not sure if this movie was extolling the virtues of family or repression. What I do know is that after this movie and Laguna I'll be wary of Joe Mantegna vehicles in the future.
12. Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)
Steve Martin, another actor I find consistently irritating.
This movie's a desert entirely devoid of laughter. Hanging in the sky is Steve Martin's smug face, with not even the smallest chuckle in sight. You're tired, you're bewildered, you're thirsty for laughter, but you somehow know that mirth is not to be had in a place such as this.
Is Steve Martin concerned about your predicament? Not in the slightest! He's already cashed the check. He's already on to his next underwhelming movie. Fare thee well, traveler. Good luck... you'll need it.
13. A Walk to Remember (2002)
Insipid teen romance involving a small town, peer pressure, angsty, angsty late 90s and early 00s Alternative music, and THE LORD. It was adapted from a Nicholas Sparks novel, so if you've seen The Notebook you'll know where you stand with this one.
This movie, unlike some others discussed here, was a financial success. It made over $47 million against a $11 million budget.
14. Garfield: The Movie (2004)
Bill Murray voices an unconvincing CGI cat in this adaptation of a comic strip that you might remember but probably don't think about much (if at all) in 2026. And somehow this movie made a TON of money! Go figure!
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