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2026年8月6日 星期四

More Absolutes


I reviewed Absolute Batman vols. 1 and 2 around a month ago.  Needless to say it made quite an impression.  It remains my favorite of the Absolute comics that I've read so far.

I recently read more of the Absolute titles, and what you see below are my thoughts on each.  I've ranked these titles from most to least liked.  Here we go!


1. Absolute Wonder Woman vols. 1 and 2 by Kelly Thompson, Hayden Sherman and Others.

Man, there are some great moments in this series.  There are things that bring a smile to your face, and things that feel gratifying.  I found myself very invested in this version of an oft over-complicated character, and I was glad they could give her a fresh start.

With Wonder Woman there are often uneasy compromises between Greek mythology, the modern world, modern attitudes, and a tendency to (over) sexualize the character.  Kelly Thompson obviates any such compromises by putting Diana solidly within Greco-Roman mythology, and by asserting her presence in the modern world as if it were a self-evident fact. 

Steve Trevor, however, seems like a character cut out from a rom-com.  Even so this is a small complaint, and moreover one that could be addressed in future issues.  He only needs some tiny flaw to make him more convincing.

There has been criticism that this title features too much exposition in its later issues.  I'd agree with that.  Some of these later issues do need a little less "tell" and a lot more "show."


2. Absolute Martian Manhunter vol. 1 by Deniz Camp, Javier Rodriguez and Others

Javier Rodriguez is, as of now, my favorite artist.  The story which unfolds in Absolute Martian Manhunter is a little confusing at times, but I suppose that was to some extent the point.  I really enjoyed the battle between the two heavies near the end, and the contrast between John Jones and his alien counterpart is very compelling.

I wonder, however, if the writer didn't paint himself into a corner with this one.  How would it continue?  How would this character/storyline blend with others?  As it is it seems more like a pocket universe within the larger Absolute continuity, and with vol. 1's tale told I'm not sure what more there is to say about the character.


3. Absolute Green Lantern vol. 1 by Al Ewing, Jahnoy Lindsay and Others

I am not now nor have I ever been a big Green Lantern fan.  I always thought his (and it's usually a "his") powers were a little silly.  And don't get me started on all the different colors of the spectrum and the related nonsense.  To me all those differently colored lanterns are just a step removed from the Speed Force so often invoked in more recent Flash comics.

And yet I loved this series.  Volume 1 (I haven't yet read Volume 2) offers a great mythos on which to build future adventures, and even if Green Lantern's mythos isn't quite as good (or consistent) as Wonder Woman's it's still very well thought out and promises many good stories in the future.

I doubt Absolute Batman will be dethroned anytime soon, but I could see Absolute Green Lantern supplanting Absolute Wonder Woman a few issues down the line.  It replaces an old system of magic with a new one, sure, but the new system is WAY cooler.


4. Absolute Superman by...?

I've only read bits of this one online, but what I read seemed very political and heavy-handed.  I may return to it in the future.

I'm not a big fan of Jason Aaron though.  I doubt my opinion of this series will change much upon further readings.


5. Absolute Flash by...?

What a disappointment.  As in the case of Absolute Superman I've only read parts of this series, but nothing I've read has impressed me.  The Flash is my all-time favorite superhero, and I think the Absolute line let him down.

Part of my problem with Absolute Flash is that there is a definite hole in the Absolute line up that could have been filled by this title.  In Absolute Batman you've got VIOLENCE, in Absolute Wonder Woman and Absolute Green Lantern you've got magic, and in Absolute Martian Manhunter you've got a kind of surreal psychology that acts as a counterpoint to what's going on in Absolute BatmanAbsolute Flash could have rounded out this collection by being a more science-oriented title, crafting a more rational/scientific world around a character with impossible abilities.

But no, they didn't do that.  Not really.

Bonus points for NO Speed Force however, at least not yet.  That's a welcome change.


6. Absolute Catwoman by...?

Haven't read any of these.  Could be interesting.


7. Absolute Green Arrow by...?

Haven't read any of these either.  Cool costume though.  There's always something a little silly about heroes walking around with bows and arrows in a world full of machine guns, but hey, maybe the creators manage to make that particular trope convincing.


8. Other Titles

Again, haven't read any.  There are several one-shots and the DC All-In Special which inaugurated the line.

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2026年7月8日 星期三

"Illuminations: Stories" by Alan Moore (2022)


"One major problem seemed to be that nearly everyone working in the business - artists, writers, editors and publishers - was a promoted comic fan who though they might know everything about King Bee, had no original or viable ideas of their own that might conceivably alleviate the comic world's near-terminal condition."

Alan Moore is a noted writer of comic books who began writing fiction in the late 90s.  He first came to widespread attention through his work at DC Comics, where he wrote a celebrated run on Swamp Thing, and where he then created the groundbreaking limited series Watchmen with artist Dave Gibbons.  Since his heyday in the 80s he's bounced around quite a bit, penning a number of comic book titles for a number of different publishers.

My personal (?) relationship with Moore goes back to that run on Swamp Thing in the early 80s.  I liked that character prior to Moore taking on writing duties, but it was Moore's innovations on that title that made me a genuine fan.  From Swamp Thing it was an easy leap to Watchmen, another series I loved, but after that seminal work I largely lost track of Moore, only reading a handful of the comics he wrote for Image later on.

This said, I have made jokes at his expense.  A few years ago I came across a quote by Moore, something to the effect of people becoming the thing they dread.  As part of this quote Moore explained that he'd become a wizard, and for years now I've been warning people of the perils of going to bed and waking up as a wizard, encouraging them to guard against such transformations.  This joke only ever lands with one friend who's also familiar with the same quote, but I still insist on repeating it from time to time, as if its repetition will make the reference any less obscure.  "I went to pay for my latte at Starbucks," I'll say, "And damned if I didn't become a wizard once the change hit the counter."

Alan Moore, to put it another way, takes himself incredibly seriously, and he probably thinks that you and I should too.  While briefly researching this short story collection, for example, I ran across an interview with him in which he explains the literary devices he uses in the writing of his stories - in case, you know, the rest of us are too slow on the uptake.  In the interview he seems nice enough about it, but yeah, he is in this respect far from unsassuming.

Anyway, on to the stories.

1. Hypothetical Lizard

This story starts off promising but goes nowhere fast.  I really liked the bit about the "whore of sorcerers" and the procedure employed in the creation of such a being, but the overall narrative is an extremely pedestrian tale of sexual jealousy which fails to utilize an excellent opening.

2. Not Even Legend

One of the better stories here.  A group investigating the paranormal meets and runs afoul of all the spirits which normally exist outside of their investigations.  It's a little like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button meets a detective story.  It works well.

3. Location, Location, Location

A pointlessly sexual story involving a real estate transaction and the end of the world.  I'm really not sure where Moore was trying to go with this one, and I don't think he's entirely sure either.

4. Cold Reading

A psychic gets on the wrong side of the supernatural.  It's a solid story that would have worked well as a horror comic.  Anything more than that would have involved a deeper dive into the characters.

5. The Improbably Complex High-Energy State

One of the most pretentious things I've ever read, and keep in mind that I've struggled through books like Gravity's Rainbow and Finnegan's Wake.  This story is best described as a kind of fantasia (or phantasmagoria) involving entities existing in a quantum substrate.  It tries to be amusing, occasionally succeeds, but I found reading it to be a real chore.

6. Illuminations

An older man pays a heavy price for nostalgia.  This is far and away the best story in this collection, and I assume it leans heavily on the author's memories of younger years.  The ending isn't altogether unexpected, but the various plot elements click together nicely in the end.

7. What We Can Know About Thunderman

This novella is the centerpiece of this short story collection, and serves as Moore's grand statement on the (American) comic book industry.  By turns pointless and confusing, this sprawling... thing really puts the "T" in "turgid."

In case, as Moore is likely to suspect, you're too slow to catch the symbolism, "Thunderman" is a stand-in for Superman, "American" is a stand-in for DC, and "Massive" is a stand-in for Marvel.  Having endured Moore's dismissing vignettes of various figures within the comic book industry, I can understand why more current creators are often so cryptic in their descriptions of interactions with him.  He's probably not a pleasant individual to deal with.

8. American Light: An Appreciation

What's more pretentious than a Beat poem which places various Egyptian deities in the context of San Franciscan history?  Its author supplying footnotes to this same Beat poem for the edification of his less literate readership!  Hey, at least it's short!

9. And, at the Last, Just to be Done with Silence

Don't ask me, I don't know.  Maybe it's about the devil?

Whatever it's about, it's the last story in this collection, and I felt like I'd just completed a marathon after finishing it.  Getting through Illuminations wasn't easy, and I have no desire to repeat the experience through any of Moore's other books.  Alan Moore has certainly written some excellent comic books, but I doubt the rest of his fiction is worth locating.

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2025年9月8日 星期一

Hey Kids!! Comics!!



1. Gideon Falls Volume 1: The Black Barn by Jeff Lemire, Andrea Sorrentino and Dave Stewart

Of the three comic books discussed here Gideon Falls is my favorite by far.  Jeff Lemire has a great ear for dialogue, and he adds enough exposition without crowding the story.  Andrea Sorrentino's art is by turns beautiful and eerie, and the way she (he?) uses panels in this book is a wonder to behold.

A Catholic priest assigned to the Gideon Falls parish stumbles into some mysterious happenings around town, while a psychiatrist treating a "schizophrenic" discovers that there's more to his "delusions" than meets the eye.  From that point on the weirdness only escalates, and I'm looking forward to reading the other five volumes in this series if and when I come across them.

There's been a TV adaptation of this comic book series in the works for a while, but no news on its progress since 2019.  It would seem that COVID derailed it.


2. Tokyo Ghost: The Atomic Garden by Rick Remender, Sean Murphy and Matt Hollingsworth

My second favorite of these three comic books.  It's got that early 80s Frank Miller/Neuromancer/Martial Law vibe, and although it's somewhat derivative I'm thinking the second installment is probably much better.  Yes, first impressions are important, but sometimes you have to give writers time to set up a story.

In the distant future two lovers, one of them hopelessly addicted to technology, journey to Japan to fulfill a contract.  Rick Remender's dialogue is well done, and Sean Murphy's art has a kinetic quality that jumps off the page.

A movie adaptation was in development, but no news since 2021.


3. Night of the Ghoul by Scott Snyder and Francesco Francavilla

My least favorite of these three comics.  The art is suitably spooky, but Scott Snyder needed to slow things down and explain the plot better.  What's going on with that basement beneath the retirement home?  And why does the son character randomly leave the car and start exploring a sewer during a rainstorm?  And what does the mom character having early onset Parkinson's have to do with anything?

A film adaptation could work, but whoever wrote the screenplay would need to flesh out the the story elements better.  As it is this is more of an outline than an actual horror comic in itself.

When I think about it, Scott Snyder does this kind of thing a lot.  He'll start out with an interesting premise and then laze his way through the rest of the story he's set up.  Dark Knights: Metal is probably the worst example of this tendency.  Cool idea, but it went nowhere fast.

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2025年2月11日 星期二

"Generation X" by Scott Lobdell, Fabian Nicieza and Others (1994-1995)


It's the early- to mid-90s, dudes!  Time to get extreme!  I'm talking about MASSIVE shoulder pads!  I'm talking about MORE pouches!  I'm talking about BIG, ridiculous guns that would be almost impossible to shoulder!  I'm talking about ponytails, tiny, thin feet, and cool-sounding names like "Phalanx," and "Emplate" (whatever that's supposed to mean) and "Chamber!"

Yes, it's time to carefully unsheathe our double-bagged, holographic comix with their embossed 3D trading cards.  It's time to carefully open these "spare copies" (NO CRINKLING) of Generation X and get down to business!

But hold on a minute!  I'll have you know that these X-men aren't your parents' X-men!  No, no no!  These X-men are way more broody than those other X-men... these X-men have ISSUES!  And not just double-bagged, holographic with the the embossed trading card issues!  By "issues" I mean that they get dark!

It could have worked.  The problem is that the villains in this series outshine the heroes, and what might have been an interesting little horror comic fails to stay in its lane.  Every time the more colorful, more "adult" X-men show up it really kills the mood, and the costumes these new heroes are saddled with could have been done away with entirely.  

Leaving them in street clothes would have worked a lot better, and ramping up the horror elements would have improved Generation X even more.  As it is it's a decidedly lukewarm effort, a slightly darker take on the Image titles that were probably outselling Marvel titles at the time.  Youngblood it ain't, (Jim Lee's) X-men it ain't, and they failed to venture into Swamp Thing territory, which would have been a more natural fit.

Oh well.  For the record I enjoyed it.  I can't say I remember most of the character's names, I can't say I remember what most of the plots were about, but it was an enjoyable detour back into a time when the comics industry was in a state of flux, and when a signed copy of Generation X might have been something that someone actually wanted.

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2025年2月1日 星期六

"The Hellboy Omnibus" Volumes 1-4 by Mike Mignola and Others (2021)


Hellboy comics are awesome.  If you're tired of the superhero stuff -- and who doesn't get tired of the superhero stuff now and then? -- Hellboy is the answer.

The Wild Hunt is, by the way, one of the best comic book series I've ever read.  It really brings the hammer down in the end, and what's more it's a satisfying lead-in to Hellboy in Hell, another memorable comic book series that left me wanting more.

2024年7月1日 星期一

"Hellboy: The Complete Short Stories Volumes 1 and 2" by Mike Mignola & Others (2018)


"Jeez!"

I'm very late in reading Hellboy.  I've seen all the movies of course, but the comics went right by me.

If you can imagine the old EC horror comics with a recurring red, wisecracking, demonic character that pretty much sums up Hellboy.  Weird stuff happens, Hellboy shows up, Hellboy fights the monster (usually with his fists), and that's about it.  This isn't to say that Mike Mignola's Hellboy is bad or even derivative, just to say that there's a very specific formula involved in most of these short stories, even if this formula is used well.

I very much enjoyed "The Crooked Man," a story which features Richard Corben's artwork.  Milennium Media has used this story as the basis for an upcoming movie, with Jack Kesy appearing as Hellboy.  It was filmed in Bulgaria and sounds super low budget, but if the trailer's promising I'll give it a look.

I also liked the African myth story which closes out Volume 2.  Given that Hellboy is often an excuse to explore various mythologies, this story offers us a glimpse of wider possibilities, in which Hellboy is a kind of Sandman-like character, adaptable to myths and folktales from any number of cultures.

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2023年8月6日 星期日

"The Authority: Book One" by Warren Ellis, Bryan Hitch and Others (1999)


 Longtime readers of this blog can probably guess why I read The Authority.  There will be, at some point, a movie adaptation of this comic book series, and I wanted to know more about it for that reason.  There are no details available on the movie yet, but I assume that the idea of superheroes operating above the law will be a prominent theme.

Another reason I sought out The Authority is The Planetary Omnibus, which I read not long ago.  Planetary is another Warren Ellis creation, and the two properties have crossed over at least twice.  The Authority appears briefly in The Planetary Omnibus, and Planetary appears even more briefly in The Authority: Book One.

Of the two properties I'd have to say that Planetary is WAY more interesting.  There are some fun ideas at work in The Authority: Book One, but they're largely overshadowed by the world-ending threats that pop up every four issues or so.  After the third time the world's almost destroyed and millions of lives have been sacrificed you're left feeling kind of numb, and I would've liked more lulls between battles, more time in which to know both the characters better and to examine the moral implications of what they were doing.  Who are these people, really?  After reading this TPB I'm no closer to understanding who any of The Authority are, or to understanding what drives them to do what they do.
 
Stormwatch, you say?  Maybe, but I've read a few issues of Stormwatch.  I wasn't seeing much character development there, either.
 
Also, a lot of this comic book series seems to revolve around various characters embodying things.  A woman embodies a century, a man embodies whatever city he's in, another man embodies a mystical force dormant in the Earth, etc., etc., etc.  It gets a little repetitive after a while.

I would, however, like to read Mark Millar's heavily censored run on the characters, the run collected in Book Two.  The early 2000s was indeed a very strange time for comics, and there are probably even more interesting ideas in Millar's take.  I have no doubt that he took some of Ellis' ideas forward into both his own run on The Authority and The Ultimates, and the connections between The Authority and later comics make it worth reading, even if it's not that interesting read in isolation.

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2023年7月30日 星期日

"X-men: Battle of the Atom" by Brian Michael Bendis et al. (2013)

Sexiest (female) comic book character: Magick or Psylocke?  I'd have difficulty answering this question.  I was exposed to Magick at a much younger age, but Psylocke's "Eastern ninja thing" was more in line with both the kind of movies I was watching in the 80s and the kind of women I was fantasizing over.

But I've digressed before I've even started.  I was going to discuss Brian Michael Bendis' Battle of the Atom, wasn't I?  I should probably do that instead of sidestepping into the historically hot women of comic books. 

First, a bit of background.  Battle of the Atom is one of those "interim" X-men comics that follow the years in which "the X-men were important at Marvel" and Jonathan Hickman's House of X and Powers of X, which are regarded as a return to form.  This isn't to say that Bendis' work on the characters is bad or irrelevant, just that these "interim years" were disappointing for many fans, and that there was an impression that the mutants were being sidelined in favor of other, non-mutant characters that Marvel Studios had the rights to.

There was also a feeling that the X-men "couldn't catch a break," and yes, reading Battle of the Atom one gets a sense of this.  Just thinking of the deaths and upheavals that came before this series, yeah, it was a rough time to be a mutant.

In Battle of the Atom the X-men have split into two factions after the death of Charles Xavier.  One faction is led by Wolverine, the other by Cyclops.  At some point in the recent past these two factions were joined by the original X-men, who were transported to the future by Beast.  To these original X-men are then added a group of future X-men, who want the original X-men to return to their own time period so that everyone involved can avoid a catastrophic future.  Oh, and there's yet another group of X-men that show up, also from the future, to oppose the first group of future X-men, who may or may not be the good guys.  Confused yet?  I was.

But the problem with this comic book series isn't really the confusion it creates, but rather the ending, which just seems to represent a form of writer's block on the author's part.  After wading through so many iterations of the X-men, some of whose interactions are fun, one expects a grand finale, but this grand finale never arrives.  Instead the villain overexerts him/herself, and we're left with a series of epilogues that don't really add anything to the saga.

It's a comic book half full of good art and half full of mediocre art.  The story just barely holds together.  You could read it I suppose, but there are better comic books out there.

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2023年3月2日 星期四

"The Planetary Omnibus" by Warren Ellis and John Cassaday (1999-2009)


What a ride.  I just finished this hefty volume, and I have to say it was great fun.

The task of describing its plot, however, is daunting.

You remember Crisis on Infinite Earths?  The multiverse?  OK, Planetary in some ways goes back to that.  Instead of infinite Earths, however, there are a limited number, which makes a kind of sense given that some alternate universes would collapse in upon themselves before the present time, while some other Earths would never come to be.  We're limited by the laws of physics, and not every Earth will exist over the same span of time.

In Planetary the nature of the multiverse is also more interesting.  In Planetary a Doc Savage clone and his cohorts create a quantum computer back in the 40s, and this quantum computer, intended to calculate the best possible end to WWII, renders several other alternate realities extinct in the course of its calculations.

That, by the way, is just one of many fun ideas in this collection.  There's also a weird, alternate "Superman," a time travel loop that brings a dead man back to life, and a bizarre conspiracy involving a group of supervillains who seek to hoard forbidden knowledge for themselves.

Planetary and its "archaeologists of the impossible" could have easily been a science fiction novel, but in Ellis' hands it becomes something more, it becomes a comic book that's aware of itself, and which is aware of its readers.  It's also a really BIG, ambitious tale, and I admire the scope of its ambition.

At the back end of this sizeable omnibus are two bonus features: a comic featuring both The Authority and Planetary, and another comic featuring Planetary and Batman.  The first of these comics is the weakest part of the omnibus, while the second, bouncing as it does between different versions of the Dark Knight, is a lot of fun.

I highly recommend this story of multiverses, not-so-superheroes and monsters.  Its episodic nature can feel somewhat disjointed at times -- especially in the first half -- but once it gathers enough momentum it's something to behold.

Which makes me think... there's an Authority movie coming, isn't there?  Could Planetary be part of that film?

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2023年2月6日 星期一

"Undiscovered Country" Volumes 1-3 by Scott Snyder, Giuseppe Camuncoli and Others (2020-2022)


I'm not that familiar with Scott Snyder.  I think I read some Superman comics he wrote, a series spotlighting different times in Superman's life?  Something like that.  I didn't finish the series.

I'm also unfamiliar with the artist on Undiscovered Country.  This fact isn't that unusual though.  I'm unfamiliar with many artists working today.

The story?  It's somewhat difficult to encapsulate, but long story short it's the future, America has gone "off grid," and several representatives from what's left of the rest of the world venture into the mysterious blank spot on the map that used to be the United States.

Thereafter these representatives are tasked with "walking the spiral," i.e. passing through all 13 of the former America's sovereign states.  Each of the 13 zones they pass through represents a failed attempt at utopia, the first being a Libertarian, Mad Max-style place where anything goes, the second being a Matrix-type world where the distinction between human and machine is less significant, and the third being a kind of amplified Hollywood, where dreamers engage in unfettered acts of creation.

Eh, it's OK.  All in all it reminded me of One Piece, though One Piece is of course more whimsical.  Undiscovered Country isn't quite boring, but it does seem very derivative at times.  This type of "future assessment of a postapocalyptic America" has been done to death in comics, Watchmen, The One and Give Me Liberty providing but a few examples.  And besides that, something like One Piece is just more fun.  Repetitive, yes, but more fun.

I probably won't be continuing with this series.  As it is I've read through 18 chapters of it, and I can't see future installments improving much upon what's already been published.


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2023年1月21日 星期六

"Doomsday Clock" by Geoff Johns, Gary Frank and Brad Anderson (2017-2019)


You've read Watchmen, right?  I'm assuming everyone has.  If you haven't read Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon's original series you're either very young or not that interested in comics.  I'm assuming I can skip over Watchmen for the moment.  If you haven't read it you really should, and if you're pressed for time you can always watch the movie.

After the events of Watchmen Dr. Manhattan leaves his universe behind and enters the universe populated by the DC heroes we know and (sometimes) love.  Once there he starts manipulating past events for unknown reasons.  Ozymandias, his friend and sometime nemesis, follows him to the same universe, and of course Ozymandias always has a plan, and of course this plan involves the fate of mankind.

What follows after that point is really too convoluted for me to describe, and even after Dr. Manhattan and Ozymandias explain their individual plans at the end of the series I was left scratching my head, wondering if it all made sense.  I'm still not sure if it does.  Parts of these plans seemed very arbitrary.

The real question is whether Doomsday Clock is as good as Watchman.  To this question I can only answer no, not in the slightest.  Geoff Johns is a good writer, but he can't hold a candle to Alan Moore in his prime.  Gary Frank is also a good artist, but he seems to ape what Dave Gibbons did a little too closely, distilling Gibbon's approach to art into a nine panel layout that continually reminds you of how much better Gibbons was at telling a story through images.

Is Doomsday Clock terrible?  No, I don't think so, but as DC crossover events go it's still not as good as other series such as Crisis On Infinite Earths, Infinite Crisis or even Justice League One Million.  If forced to qualify Doomsday Clock I would say that it's just OK.  Not great, not that good, just OK.

And at the end of the day did we really need the Watchmen characters in the same story as Superman and Batman?  I don't think we did.  Leaving them alone would have made them more special, while incorporating them into something like Doomsday Clock goes a long way toward diminishing their importance.

Besides that, I think a series in which the Watchmen characters come up against the Charlton characters that inspired them would have been more fun.  Let's leave Superman and Batman out of it for a moment, and have Captain Atom take on Dr. Manhattan, Peacemaker take on the Comedian, Blue Beetle take on Night Owl...

...or at least put them in a room together... with Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.. who are trying to write an outline for a comic book idea called "Watchmen..."

That would have truly been more meta for your money

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2019年8月2日 星期五

An Incomplete List of Weird and Ridiculous Things in Flash: The Silver Age Vol. 4 (1966ish)

It was the late 60s, and this stuff was written for kids.  Gardner Fox and John Broome wrote most of it, with the great Carmine Infantino at the drawing board.



1. The Flash can move fast enough to dodge bullets, but if he hits a piece of paper while he's moving at super speed it knocks him out.

2. Captain Boomerang actually tried to shoot Flash into orbit using a boomerang.  And it almost worked.

3. There is "another dimension of space" full of psychic beings, and some of these psychic beings travel to other "dimensions of space" purely for the sake of blowing shit up.

4. The villain Abra Kadabra isn't just able to give his "magic" to other people, Flash is later able to transfer this "magic" into a lamp.

5. Barry Allen's fiance Iris is an idiot who somehow can't figure out that he's the Flash.  Even when Barry disappears and the Flash appears a moment later.  Every.  Freaking.  Time.

6. Captain Cold doesn't just make stuff out of ice.  He can also animate the things he makes and use them to attack the Flash.  The Flash is able to escape these creations by "vibrating faster than light."

7. The Flash is able to travel several times the speed of light and yet no time dilation occurs.

8. When the Flash moves a group of criminals at speeds faster than light they somehow develop telekinetic powers.

9. The Flash takes the criminals' telekinetic powers away by moving several times the speed of light in the other direction.

10. #7-#9 above were all in a single 12-page issue of The Flash.  The writer was really smoking the good stuff when he wrote that one.

11. Flash villain The Shade controls a "dark dimension," populated by "dark animals."  These creatures are able to follow commands and interact with our world, but are exempt from physical law as we know it.

12. Iris's uncle invents a way to make plants larger, with the side effect that they explode soon after.

13. Professor Zoom (a.k.a. Reverse Flash) has created his own "science of ultra-speed" based upon "speeding electrons and other sub-atomic particles to fantastic rates."

14. Certain individuals like the Flash are without any tendency toward criminality.  They are the ubermensch spoken of by Nietzsche.  Their every action is in alignment with Kant's categorical imperative.

15. When a super speedster travels forward or backward in time, they still need to worry about how much time they spend in a past or future era.  Otherwise they'll be... too late?

16. Laws in Central City are created and enacted in an almost arbitrary fashion.  And when the mayor of Central City decides to make super speed illegal, the Flash complies with this law and does not question it.

17. The Flash, although able to move at superhuman speeds, can be imprisoned in a cone of "ultra-radiation."

18. Over time the Flash builds up something called "haywire speed," which makes it impossible for him to control his powers.  This haywire speed must be drained away by giving his super speed to other people.

19. Even though the Flash's real identity is supposed to be secret, he's able to get people hired on at the Flash Museum.  And STILL Iris has no idea that Barry Allen is the Flash, despite the fact that she's an investigative reporter.

20. As a way of averting a "giant planet-wide explosion," Flash and Kid-Flash race longitudinally and latitudinally over the surface of the Earth, covering every inch of it (including the oceans) with some kind of explosion-preventing spray.

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2018年1月22日 星期一

Snail People, Rotting Robo-Sharks, and a Whole Lotta Penises

Not one, not two, but THREE weird graphic novels.  The quality of weirdness might be relative, but I think most will agree that these three are, indeed, weird... and not always in a good way.


Yeah, I think that relationship is pretty much over...

1. Gyo

This was the first I read, and for that reason it's hardest to remember.  As I recall a young Japanese couple visits an ocean resort, and then these weird marine animals start appearing.  The marine animals in question are actually dead, and this multi-legged, nanotechnological organism is somehow animating them and is, of course, up to no good.  The multi-legged, nanotechnological organism eventually works its way up to people, and when they're not infecting others with a multi-legged, nanotechnological virus they're expelling foul gases from various orifices.  I remember there being some kind of weird circus part at the end, and that the hero is sadly unable to rescue his girlfriend from her fate as a rotting, nanotechnologically animated corpse.  (So sad)

There's a great "bonus chapter" that has nothing to do with multi-legged, nanotechnological organisms.  People somewhere in Japan discover these human-shaped caves in the side of a mountain, and individuals throughout the area are inexplicably drawn to enter specific caves, where each of them is slowly elongated through some likewise unexplained process that draws them through the mountain to another, distorted cave on the other side.  Human Play-doh!  That sucks!

Try going to work with THAT on your face!

2. Uzumaki

Of the three weird comics discussed here, this is by far my favorite.  I'm not sure if "Uzumaki" translates into "spirals," but that's what this comic is about.  People get obsessed by spirals.  People TURN INTO spirals.  People also turn into snails (which have shells which have spirals).  Villages are reconfigured into spiral patterns.  And ultimately the last to survive visit an underground spiral world that was sitting right under their village the whole time.

Uzumaki is F*CKING GREAT.  Really, you should find a copy and read it as soon as possible.  Of course it's completely unscientific, and of course some of the things the characters do make no sense, but as an example of dream logic used in comic books it F*CKING WINS.  I'll probably go read it again later today.

Penises!  Vaginas!  It's all so deep, right?

3. Black Hole

This is the American, Eisner Award-winning version of weirdness.  It's the 70s, it's high school, and people are doing a lot of drugs and having a lot of sex.  The only trouble is that some of them may be passing around a virus that might be making them mutate in a variety of ways.  They grow little mouths on their necks, they develop horns, you get the picture.

Oh, and there are A LOT of penises in this comic book.  Breasts, too.  People spend a lot of time fantasizing about "getting away" - which makes sense because it's Seattle and it's raining all the time - but sometimes their dreams of "getting away" end in bizarre firearm-related altercations in the local KFC.

And you know the difference between Gyo, Uzumaki, and Black Hole?  Gyo and Uzumaki are fun, while Black Hole is the biggest pile of pretentious bullsh*t I've forced myself to read in a long time.  I get that readers of recent Image Comics titles* will probably RAVE over it, but f*ck man, Black Hole is some boring, repetitive sh*t.

F*CK the Eisner Awards too, by the way.  Those awards have been meaningless for years now.

Related Entries:

"Flashpoint" by Geoff Johns and Andy Kubert (2011)

*Hey, I like Saga too.  And a few other Image titles besides.  But you'll have to admit they make a higher-than-average percentage of pretentious crap.

2017年3月14日 星期二

Comic Book Interlude 10


1. "Sin City" (complete) by Frank Miller (1991-1992)

I can remember reading the earliest issues/episodes of this back when they first appeared in Dark Horse Presents.  Hard to believe that was what... twenty-five years ago?

Time flies by and so does life.  Here I am at 42 years of age, reading through the ones I missed.

Still great stuff, in my opinion, and the first film remains one of the most faithful and successful adaptations ever.  It's just a shame Robert Rodriguez's sequel was such a letdown.  I think they just waited too long between movies.



2. "Autumnlands: Tooth and Claw" 1-3 by Kurt Busiek and Ben Dewey (2014)

Talking magical animals resurrect a human messiah figure.  In three issues - that's as far as I got.

I really liked Busiek's Astro City, but this one isn't doing much for me.  Perhaps it gets better later on, but then again there are plenty of other comics.


3. "The Complete Alias" by Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Gaydos (2001-2004)

As I understand it, these days a lot of comic book readers have reasons to dislike Brian Michael Bendis, but Alias surely isn't one of them.  It follows the travails of ex-superheroine Jessica Jones, and was adapted into a Netflix TV series.

Where the Netflix show fails to adequately characterize Jessica, the Alias series is right on the money.  She is presented here in all her neurotic glory, and as a piece of comic book storytelling I can't recommend this series enough.  It goes left when you think it's going to go right, it goes up when you think it's going to go down, and the dialogue is Bendis at his best.


4. "The Multiversity" #1 and #3 by Grant Morrison and Various Artists (2014)

Is there a plot to be found here?  Not sure, but I have the feeling that the issues all tie together somehow.

At any rate, something's going on in the multiverse, and the heroes of several worlds have to contend with it.  Whatever that something is.


5. "The Sandman" 1-75 + Extras by Neil Gaiman and Various Artists (1989-1996)

Looking back on the late 80s/early 90s from the vantage point of 2017, I think that what Neil Gaiman was really trying to do was make himself into the Sandman.  As ways of getting laid go, there are worse strategies.

I've never been a fan of Gaiman the author.  I've read a couple of his novels, and I thought they were extremely forgettable.  In many ways his career parallels that of the earlier Clive Barker, who was enjoying superstardom when Gaiman was just a guy writing comic books for DC.

Yet while Barker was an author who sometimes dabbled in comics, Gaiman was, I think, the reverse.  He is, no matter how much he'd like you to forget it, steeped in the comic book medium, and it is in this medium that he really shines.  Sandman is a very layered, very well-thought out comic book saga, and every time someone bores me with talk of American Gods, I can't help but reflect upon the fact that Sandman was really much better. 


6. "Transmetropolitan" (Complete) by Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson (1997-2002)

Hunter S. Thompson type in the future, speaking truth to power.

I've enjoyed other comics that Warren Ellis has written, but this series did nothing for me.  The whole cyberpunk setting seems very late 90s, and I had a hard time figuring out why anyone would care about anything Spider Jerusalem has to say.  He types a riot out of existence?  Really?  One of the silliest things I've ever read.  

...especially in light of recent political developments.


7. "V for Vendetta" (Complete) by Alan Moore and David Lloyd (1982-1988)

"Making England Great Again."

Enough said.

2017年1月14日 星期六

Comic Book Interlude 9


1. "American Splendor" by Harvey Pekar, Robert Crumb, and Others (1976-1991)

Underground comic, largely autobiographical in nature.  Parts of it are good, but it's extremely repetitive, and at times crosses that line between art and masturbation.  The author, Harvey Pekar, writes about life in Cleveland, and people that he knew there.  Everything I said about "Ordinary Victories" could be applied to this one.

It was later adapted into a film starring Paul Giamatti.  The movie is probably much better than the comic book. 


2. "J. Michael Straczynski's Midnight Nation" by (of course) J. Michael Straczynski and Gary Frank (2002)

Super boring comic book about a policeman trapped in limbo.  The art is also too "superheroic" for the subject matter.

Dear Mr. Straczynski: If you're going to put your name above the title, you really ought to come up with something less derivative than this.  You've got a good ear for dialogue, but good dialogue doesn't make up for a lackluster story.


3. "Nailbiter" (Volume 1) by Joshua Williamson and Mike Henderson (2014-2015)

An "interrogation expert" investigates his friend's disappearance in a town full of serial killers.

The writing is ok, even if the concept of a town full of serial killers is a bit implausible.  The art veers between manga and Frank Miller.

If Nailbiter was adapted into a movie (stranger things have happened), it would be a campy affair, but under the right director it could work.  Writer Joshua Williamson doesn't have J. Michael Straczynski's ear for dialogue, but other than that this comic book is much better.


4. "New Avengers" 1-33 + Annual by Jonathan Hickman and Various Artists (2013-2015)

Secret Wars makes SO much more sense after you've read Hickman's New Avengers!  Now I know what those "other Earths in the sky" really are!  Now I know how Doctor Doom got involved in the first place!  Now I know how the Avengers first learned of the "Incursions!"

This, and it's also a good run of comics in its own right.  I think I might like Hickman's run on New Avengers even more than Secret Wars.  To be sure, Secret Wars is still vastly superior to DC's Convergence, but Secret Wars - despite a great beginning - was something of an unfulfilled promise.

Hickman's New Avengers issues build more gradually, and he maintains a nice sense of tension throughout.  Most of the art isn't that great, but the story more than makes up for the art.  I really liked the interplay between Namor and the Black Panther, and Black Swan is/was an interesting character.


5. "Preacher" 1-66 + 6 Specials + Saint of Killers by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon (1996-2000) 

I wouldn't blame you for finding a comic like Crossed off-putting.  It's violent, it's transgressive, and it's more than a little repetitive.

But Preacher?  Yes it's violent, but it's as cleverly written as any comic book out there, and the art - although far from flashy - tells a great story.  Preacher is iconoclastic in the way that all great art is iconoclastic - it says what it wants to say, and the devil take the the hindmost.

Preacher is excellent stuff, and if you have the patience I think you'll find it just as spellbinding is I did.


6. "Punisher MAX" by Garth Ennis and Various Artists (2007-2009)

Garth Ennis brings a bit more of the old ultraviolence to this series featuring Marvel's most famous psychopath.

It's not as riveting as Preacher, but it's easier on the digestion than Crossed.  I haven't read through all the issues yet - just the first two storylines, but I plan on returning to them when I have more time.